


As You Wish

by Pineau_noir



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Princess Bride - William Goldman
Genre: ALL THE GOOD STUFF, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Background Linny, Bedtime Stories, Canon-Typical Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Cinnamon Roll Scorpius Malfoy, DAD DRACO GIVES ME LIFE, Draco is Still Snarky, Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles., Fluff, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Humor, Inspired by Princess Bride, LCDrarry, M/M, background Ronmione, based on the best story ever told, contemplating suicide, domestic drarry, i have somehow made Harry dashing in an alternate universe, my apologies to S. Morgenstern, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23954737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pineau_noir/pseuds/Pineau_noir
Summary: Draco was raised on a farm in the small country of Witshire; his favourite pastimes were flying on his broom and tormenting the hired farm boy. Though his name was Harry, Draco never called him that. On Harry's forehead there was a scar shaped like a lightning bolt, so Draco called himScarhead.Nothing gave Draco as much pleasure as ordering Harry aroundOr a story about fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes,True Love, and miracles.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 55
Kudos: 149
Collections: Lights Camera Drarry 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There are just so very many people to thank for this because my little group got me through my "it should only be like 10k words" to "holy shit 10k isn't even _half_."
> 
> So, to L, thank you so much for your friendship while we bonded over this fest. To J, J, and S, only one of you is in this fandom, but all three of you have always been so supportive with everything I write, you're really three of my best friends. To A and N, for being my irl besties and all of your support for my writing and this idea that grabbed my brain and wouldn't let go. To B, for being a really great husband and letting me read aloud passages and laughing at the appropriate parts. To the prompter, thank you for taking quite possibly my favorite movie and allowing me to write two of my favorite guys in it. I'm a huge Princess Bride fan and I hadn't realized exactly how _Drarry_ it was until I started writing. To the mods of the event, thank you so much for hosting such a lovely event and for all the extensions! 
> 
> And finally, the biggest thanks to K for both alpha and beta reading this like a week before it was due and just holding my hand during the entire process. This is only fit for reading because of you. You took my all-over-the-place doc and made the fic into an actual _story_. Thanks for all of your notes, for gently nudging me when I needed it, for all of the cheerleading, and for catching mistakes. You're simply the best.

_The sun has long since set and Scorpius is dragging his heels when Draco finally insists that it is_ bedtime _._

_“Daaaaad,” he whinges._

_“Don’t ‘Dad’ me,” Draco says back. “It’s late. Go brush your teeth and I’ll tell you a story.” Scorpius goes, grumbling, and Harry smiles from his spot on the sofa._

_“You’re a good dad,” he says._

_“I know he doesn’t have school tomorrow, but he still can’t stay up—”_

_“I’m agreeing with you, love,” Harry interjects. “You go get comfortable in his room, I’ll make sure he brushes_ all _of his teeth.”_

_Draco walks over to drop a kiss on Harry’s messy head and murmurs, “You’re too good to me,” before walking to Scorpius’ room and Conjuring a squashy chair. Only a few minutes pass until Scorpius is thundering down the hall and into his room. Harry, at a far more sedate pace, arrives a few seconds later._

_Scorpius gets in bed and starts his nightly squirming session to get comfortable. When he’s settled, Draco asks, “What would you like your story about tonight?”_

_Smiling, Scorpius says, “Tell me a story about you and Harry.”_

_Draco clears his throat and starts._

——

Draco was raised on a farm in the small country of Wiltshire; his favourite pastimes were flying his broom and tormenting the hired farm boy. Though his name was Harry, Draco never called him that. On Harry's forehead there was a scar shaped like a lightning bolt, so Draco called him _Scarhead_.

Nothing gave Draco as much pleasure as ordering Harry around.

He and Harry were in Draco’s barn, tending to the Malfoy’s menagerie of creatures as the sun set one autumn evening. Harry was feeding the hippogriffs. Draco didn’t care for them, (he had been on the receiving end of their ire) so he gave them a wide berth. Draco was infinitely more intelligent, so he was tending to the estate's parliament of owls. 

He looked around his little corner of the large barn and, not finding the feed bag said, “Scarhead, fetch me the owl food.”

Harry smiled softly, brushed the hippogriff he was tending to one last time, and replied, “As you wish.”

 _As you wish_ was the only thing he said to Draco. It was always accompanied by a gentle smile. 

“Scarhead,” Draco said the next day, “bring me an owl, I need to send a letter.”

“As you wish.”

“Scarhead, trim my broom bristles. I wish to go flying later.”

“As you wish.”

On and on the pattern went, until one day Draco was shocked to realise that when Harry said _As you wish,_ what he really meant was _I love you._ More surprising was the realisation that Draco loved him in return.

Draco’s parents had passed, years before, leaving him little wealth and a tarnished name, and Harry was poor and unlanded so they—

_“Dad, Grandmother’s still at the Manor,” Scorpius says with a frown._

_Draco hears Harry laugh from across the room; he's leaning against the door listening to the story, as always, part of Draco and Scorpius' nightly routine. “Also, I wasn’t exactly_ poor _,” Harry adds with a wink. “I didn’t realise that until later, of course, but—”_

_Spreading his arms wide, Draco glares at his husband and son. “Would one of you like to tell the story?” he asks, grumpily._

_Harry walks to where Draco is seated by Scorpius’ bed and leans down to kiss Draco on the top of his head. “Don’t stop on my account, love.” He settles himself on the floor, by the chair, and wiggles around until he’s comfortable. Draco flicks a quick Cushioning Charm at the floor and Harry smiles up at him in thanks._

_Draco rolls his eyes and focuses on his son whose poorly concealed grin reminds Draco so much of himself at eight. “Scorpius,” he starts in a stern manner that his son will see right through. “Shall I continue?”_

_Scorpius nods and Draco hears Harry mutter, “You’re not_ infinitely _more intelligent either, you git,” but Draco ignores him._

_“Where was I?” he says and then thinks for a moment. “Oh yes, Draco’s parents were gone and he and Harry didn’t have the means to start their life so Harry went to find his fortune at sea."_

"Why must you go, my love?" Draco asked as he embraced Harry.

"I do not wish to leave you, but unless you marry well, I'm afraid you will lose your family farm. I cannot be the one to cause that to happen. I will come back able to take care of us both, Draco."

Draco let out a little sigh, hoping the sound would divert Harry’s attention away from the tears in his eyes. "But Harry, what if the worst happens? What if... I lose you?"

Harry swept Draco into a kiss, letting all of his love show. When they pulled apart, Draco saw that his eyes too, were shiny from unshed tears.

“Draco,” Harry said. “This is True Love. Do you think this happens to just anyone? There is nothing that can best it. I _will_ return to you, I _swear_ it."

_"Merlin, you're dramatic," Harry snarks with a grin._

_Draco flicks his ear, but otherwise ignores him and goes back to the story._

Patience was never Draco's strong point. But he vowed to be as patient as possible whilst waiting for his love, his _Harry_ , to return. He sent off several letters, but in the weeks that passed had not received any answer. Two weeks turned into a month, one month turned into two, and still Draco heard nothing from Harry.

A few months later, an unfamiliar owl arrived. It was carrying a letter and Draco hoped it was a message from Harry. The outside was blank, not giving him any clue to what was inside. Draco fed the owl a few treats and muttered, "You can rest in the barn with the other owls." It gave him a hoot and flew off. Draco, hoping to finally know how Harry was, tore the later open, only to let out a wail. His greatest fear had come true.

_Draco Malfoy,_

_I am the Captain of Harry Potter's ship,_ Phoenix _. It gives me no joy to inform you that Harry has been reported dead at sea. We were overtaken by pirates and Harry was lost in the ensuing battle against the villain known as the Dread Pirate Black. He saved many lives, mine included, with his sacrifice._

 _He spoke of you fondly as we were out at sea, and on behalf of the crew of the_ Phoenix _, I extend to you and your family my deepest sympathy in your great loss. His personal affairs, as well as his earnings, will be sent to you in a separate missive. If there is anything my crew or I might do in this time of need, do not hesitate to ask._

_I remain your obedient servant,  
Captain C. E. Westley_

Draco fell into a chair at his table, feeling his heart break and losing himself in sobs. He swore to himself that he would never love again.

——

Three years passed. Draco still filled his days flying and taking care of his family home. With the inheritance from Harry's death, his farm had been saved. However, none of it made him happy. True to his word, he never found love again. He was no longer in constant mourning for Harry; it was more of a dull ache as opposed to a big, gaping wound, but he had hardened his heart. Despite that, he found himself engaged to be married to the heir to the throne of Wiltshire, Prince Voldie. 

_Harry sputters out a laugh. “Prince_ Voldie _?” he asks._

 _Draco stares down at him. “I’ll call him what I want, Potter. He was a genocidal, noseless maniac who lived in my_ house _and if I wish to call him_ Prince No-Nose-Arsehole _, I shall.”_

_Harry’s lips twitch. “Whatever you say, love.”_

_Mollified by Harry’s acquiescence, Draco turns to look at Scorpius. “At this rate, no one’s going to go to sleep tonight,” he mutters. Harry murmurs a_ sorry _, and Draco starts the story again._

_“So, Draco was engaged to Prince Mouldy Voldie and the country celebrated the soon-to-be union.”_

_Harry snorts. Draco smiles, pleased at Harry’s reaction._

“As you all know, in a few weeks, we will be celebrating the 700th anniversary of the city of Hogwarts, the cultural and political centre of Wiltshire. On that auspicious occasion, I am to be wed.” Standing on one of the many balconies of his castle, Prince Voldie looked down at the townspeople who had all gathered to hear his speech. “Though he is of low birth, my intended is by no means a commoner. He is intelligent, beautiful, and strong. Truly I shall be fortunate to have him as my husband. There is no greater in the land—”

 _“Laying it in a bit thick, Malfoy,” Harry interrupts._ Again. __

_Draco ignores him._

“He will rule by my side for what I hope are decades to come. I present to you… Prince _Draco_.”

Voldie looked down at his guards and nodded. They opened the heavy door where Draco was waiting and Draco walked out, his heart sore and what he hoped was a mild expression on his face. He had warned the prince that theirs would never be a love match, but Prince Voldie had assured Draco his parents’ union had started similarly and they had grown to love each other. 

Forcing a smile, Draco waved at the people he had grown up with, who were to be his _subjects_ in only a few weeks time. Though the loss of Harry was an old, familiar pain, Draco still ached for his lost love when he contemplated marrying another. Pushing the thought aside, he squared his shoulders, and looked up to give the prince a genuine smile.

—— 

After his speech, Prince Voldie met with his royal guards. “We must protect Draco,” Prince Voldie commanded. He inclined his head towards his second-in-command, Countess Bellatrix. “I fear for his safety as the date of our wedding approaches. The country of Surrey is restless and there have been threats against my betrothed. Nothing must happen to him, upon pain of death.”

Bellatrix smiled at the prince with bright eyes. “Shall we form a Brute Squad, my lord?”

Voldie nodded. “Yes,” he agreed. “There is nothing more precious to me than my fiancé. Do whatever you need to ensure his safety.”

—— 

Not knowing about the fears for his safety, and needing solitude after the royal proclamation, Draco changed into his green flying robes and grabbed his broom so he could clear his mind. He noticed a broken carriage, in the middle of a field, and landed, hoping to offer some help. 

There were three people trying to fix the carriage, a short woman with beautifully dark skin and wild, curly hair, an unusually tall, muscular ginger man who was covered in freckles, and a short, nervous looking man. He had dirty blond hair and washed out blue eyes. As soon as Draco walked close, the short man spoke.

“Hello, sir,” he said, giving Draco a quick bow. “We are traveling musicians and our carriage has broken down. Can you help us?”

Draco nodded and started walking towards the performers. He got a few meters away and was knocked unconscious by a non-verbal _Stupefy_.

“Excellent”, the blond man said. “Hermione, Vanish the carriage so we can get out of here.” He looked over at the ginger giant. “Ronald, grab him and throw him in the boat. 

As Hermione and Ronald did as they were bid, the blond man pulled a brightly coloured robe from a bag at his hip. He used a clumsy Severing Charm to rip the garment in half, then tucked half of it under Draco’s broom and Vanished the rest. 

“What’d you do that for?” Ronald asked after he stowed Draco on their small fishing rig.

“We’ve been hired to kidnap the prince and start a war with Surrey. When Prince Voldie finds his fiancé’s broom and part of a robe from a royal guard of Surrey, he will know the prince has been taken. When we dump the body—”

“There was no mention of murder, Zacharias!” Hermione butted in.

“ _When we dump the body_ ,” Zacharias continued, “Prince Voldie’s worst fears will be confirmed and Wiltshire will be forced to go to war with Surrey.”

“Why do we want to help start a war?” Ronald was frowning. Hermione reached out to pat his arm, trying to soothe him. She glared at Zacharias.

“Answer the question,” she ordered.

“We’re helping to start a war because it’s what we’re getting paid to do!” Zacharias thundered. “If either of you had the brains to be more than henchmen, then, please, by all means, tell me a better way to get paid.” He glared at his two cronies as he boarded the ship. Ronald and Hermione reluctantly followed.

Zacharias continued with his rant. “Hermione, you were wasting your life away, sad and pathetic, too drunk to buy brandy! And Ron! Do you want to go back to where you were? Unemployed?!? In _Greenland_?!?”

Ron and Hermione both frowned at him. Zacharias threw his hands up. “Now do as I say! Otherwise, I swear on Merlin’s grave, I will Silence you both.” He made an impatient gesture and Ron untied the boat's lead and pushed them off of the small dock. “We don’t have all day!”

Hermione and Ronald shared a glance.

“He’s acting particularly unhinged lately,” Hermione muttered.

“Yeah, he’s a real nutter,” Ronald agreed, “Hermie.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Not my name,” she groused. 

——

Draco woke up on a ship, disoriented and scared. He searched for his wand, but came up with nothing. 

“Looking for this?” Zacharias taunted him, twirling Draco’s wand around his finger. 

“I am engaged to the next king of Wiltshire,” Draco said in what he hoped was a placating tone. “If you would allow me the use of an owl, I know he would pay you handsomely for my return.”

Zacharias laughed, an ugly, snorting laugh. “Oh, your prince will come for you. But you’ll be too dead to know.”

Draco looked around the ship, hoping to find a friendly face amongst the criminals. Ron was pacing up and down the boat while Hermione was rigging up the jigger thing— 

_Draco pauses, unsure about the mechanics of_ boats _. He looks at his son and shrugs. “Look, I don’t know anything about sailing," he admits. "But know your Aunt Hermione was the only reason our ship didn’t sink that night.”_

_Scorpius lets out a little giggle and Harry gives him a fond smile, but motions for him to continue._

_“Draco looked around the ship for a friendly face, but there was none to be found.”_

Hermione was at the rear of the ship, looking off in the distance while Ron was trying to placate their apparent leader. 

“Zach, can you just— ” he started.

“My _name_ is Zacharias!” he roared.

“Fine,” Ron replied, annoyed. “ _Zacharias_ , can you explain the plan to me as if I’m a small child?”

Zacharias took a deep breath and muttered _you’re a large child, Ronald_ under his breath. Rolling his eyes, he started in on what Draco was sure was going to be a ridiculous monologue. “We have been hired to start a war, as I previously told you. As to the whys—” he looked sharply at Hermione— “I neither know nor care. My contact was very clear on what we have to do. You’re both with me because you’re useless on your own. If you have any complaints…” he trailed off with an evil smile. “Well, you know where the exit is.” Draco turned to see where everyone was looking: the gangplank. Meeting no resistance he swung his arms wildly. “Get back to work, you simpletons!” Then he stalked back to where Draco was seated on the ship’s floor.

They engaged in a fierce staring contest before Zacharias’ attention was pulled towards Hermione.

“Why are you staring behind us?” he asked, sneering.

“Just watching that boat,” she replied.

Sharply turning he stalked back to where Hermione was standing. “That boat?” he asked with a shake of his head. “I’m sure they’re just out for a late night jaunt—” something clunked against the boat— “in the ocean known to be populated by the _giant squid_.” 

“I don’t know,” Hermione said in a subdued voice. “He seems to be gaining on us.”

Zacharias scoffed. “Inconceivable,” he muttered. Turning towards Draco, he smiled. It was, perhaps, supposed to be intimidating, but it merely annoyed Draco. “So you see _Prince_ ,” he said, “there is no one to save you.”

“That ship _is_ gaining on us,” Ron interrupted from his perch at the front of the boat. “Even I can see it now.”

“Inconceivable!” Zacharias shouted. “There's no way—”

Seeing his chance, Draco jumped out of the ship, his splash effectively cutting Zacharias off.

Swimming as fast as he could, Draco tried to get as much distance between himself and the ship. However the water was cold and he was in his flying robes which were voluminous and threatened to pull him under. The sad band of criminals peered at him from the side of the boat. They were gesticulating wildly, but Draco could only hear snatches of their conversation. 

“I only doggy paddle,” Ron said as Zacharias shouted in frustration.

“Draco!” Zacharias finally shouted. “The sun has been down a long time; the water will only get colder! I suggest you swim back before you either freeze or, even more likely, you get eaten by the giant squid. It’s attracted by warmth in the water and has a taste for human flesh!”

Furiously turning his head, Draco noticed that the water around him was getting choppy. 

The water was getting wilder and wilder and Draco was having problems keeping his head above water; he quickly became exhausted from his struggles, as Zacharias taunted him. “Do you see those tentacles?” he asked with a leer. “That’s only a tenth of the mass of one of the giant squid’s tentacles. It has the power to squeeze you dry and will surely eat the husk. So come back to the safety of the boat because I assure you, the squid will have no qualms with your destruction!” Draco shook as _something_ touched his leg in the dark water.

_Draco pauses. “I don’t get eaten by the giant squid,” he says to a confused Scorpius._

_“Um, I didn’t think you did,” he answers._

_“But you looked concerned and I wanted to make sure you knew I didn’t get eaten.”_

_Scorpius looks back and forth between Harry and Draco. “You’re sitting right here?” Scorpius says, his voice going up in pitch._

_“But you…” Draco trails off and lets out a put-upon sigh. “Fine. I’ll get back to the story.”_

_“He’s not wrong,” Harry gets in, “you are in fact sitting right here and telling the story.” Draco_ does not _shoot him a two finger salute, discreetly out of his son’s sight, making Harry snicker._

_“So where was I?” Draco asks and pretends to think. “Ah yes, the squid was about to eat me.”_

“Move the boat!” Zacharias thundered. “We need him alive!”

Hermione steered towards Draco while Ron leaned out and plucked him out of the waters, safe from harm. “Gotcha you pointy git,” he said as he unceremoniously dumped Draco on the floorboards. 

“Oh for Godric’s sake, Ronald, dry him off,” Hermione scolded. Ron rolled his eyes and sent a gust of hot air at Draco, who appreciated it, but had no intentions of informing the ginger giant of the fact. 

Wanting a captive audience, Zacharias stomped over to where Draco was sat. “Do you see that, Draco?” he asked as he pointed to some menacing cliffs in the distance. “Those are Cliffs of Insanity! Your fiancé will not be able to follow us!”

Draco looked at the cliffs; they were huge and imposing and he didn’t doubt Zacharias’ word that Prince Voldie would have a difficult time navigating them. He let out a ragged breath and pulled his legs up close to himself to help keep in some of his warmth. 

Their boat pulled up to a small beach. Ron grabbed Draco’s arm and Apparated them to the base of the cliff. It was a wall of rock that must have been taller than the tallest spire of the castle at Hogwarts. From it hung a thick rope with a large harness. 

Sparing one last look at the boat in the distance, Zacharias let out a snort. “Even if the person in the boat makes it to the cliff, there is no way he’ll be able to get to the top. Only my giant is strong enough to go up this way. He will have to circle around to find a safe harbour.” While he was talking, Ron had slung the harness around his waist and Hermione was struggling to get into hers. Zacharias pushed Draco towards Ronald and started to put a harness around him.

 _“I’m gonna have to stop you there,” Harry says with a shake of his head. “You just said they _Apparated_ but Ron has to climb up the Cliffs of Insanity with a rope?” He gives Draco a slightly crazed look. “They can’t just—” he waves his arms in confusion— “Apparate to the top? Like _wizards _?”_

_Scorpius lets out a little giggle and Draco feels his face scrunch up in annoyance. “Maybe they couldn’t picture the top,” he allows._

_“But they could see the top from the base, right?” Harry asks. “If you can see_ where _you need to be, you don’t have to—”_

_“It’s poetic license, Potter,” Draco says, clenching his jaw. “You wouldn’t know anything of it.”_

_Harry, exasperating as always, just laughs and leans over to kiss Draco on the knee, which is the closest thing to him. “You’re just a bit of a swot,” he says under his breath._

_“And you’re just a bit of a knob,” Draco retorts._

_Scorpius lets out a little squeak. “You said_ knob _,” he whispers. “Grandmother said that’s a—”_

 _Letting out a bark of laughter, Harry looks up at Draco. “He’s not wrong. Your mother won’t let_ him _use that word.”_

_Draco glares at his husband and his son. He thinks for half a second. “Don’t tell her I said it and you can use it at home.”_

_Scorpius lets out a shriek of glee as Harry mutters, “Way to bribe your kid.” Draco snorts out a little giggle._

_“So, only Ron the giant can climb up the cliff. Shall we go on?” Scorpius nods frantically and Harry gives him an indulgent grin. “Having secured everyone, Ronald took to climbing up the cliff.”_

Draco squeezed his eyes shut. It wasn’t that he was _scared_ of heights, but between the constant jostling and the sheer size of the cliff, he didn’t want to make himself sick. 

“He’s docked his boat, right next to ours,” Hermione said.

“He’ll never catch up,” Zacharias said tightly.

As they continued their ascent, Draco could feel his breath become shaky while Ron climbed higher and higher.

After a few more minutes, Hermione said, “We’re almost to the top but the man in black is gaining on us.”

“Inconceivable!” Zacharias shouted. “Ronald, how could this happen? You’re supposed to be this great wizard, strong as Gryffindor himself and yet that scoundrel is catching up!”

“He just—” Ron said, panting— “it’s just him, innit? And I’ve got all—”

“Quit making excuses!” Zacharias shouted. “Hurry up and climb you buffoon! Do I need to find myself a new giant?”

Ronald scoffed. “Good luck with that,” he muttered.

After a few more minutes of climbing, Draco felt the angle at which he was being carried, changed. He opened his eyes and realized they had finally reached the top of the cliff and Ron was pulling them all up to solid ground.

“Hurry!” Zacharias shouted as he disentangled himself from Ron. “Get out of the harness!” he yelled, looking at Hermione. “Cut the rope!”

She did as ordered and Draco was left to fend for himself. He stumbled when he was finally free from the leather bindings and was promptly pulled away as Zacharias moved them from the edge of the cliff to a more grassy area. “Hermione, take care of him,” said Zacharias, still pulling Draco and motioning for Ron to join them. “As soon as you’re done cutting the rope and he’s fallen…” he trailed off as Hermione finished cutting the thick rope. “Let’s go!” he ordered.

“He didn’t fall,” she replied. “In fact—” she paused to look down— “he’s still climbing.”

Running towards the edge of the cliff, Zacharias screamed, “INCONCEIVABLE!” 

“You keep using that word,” Hermione said with a scowl. “I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“ _If_ he gets to the top,” Zacharias ordered as he scrambled back to Draco and Ron, “finish him off. He has seen us with the prince and therefore must die. Nothing can spoil our plans of starting a war between Wiltshire and Surrey.”

Nodding stiffly, Hermione said, “Fine, but I’m going to duel him using my left hand.”

Zacharias glared. “Do you not realize what a HURRY WE’RE IN?”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “It’s not as if it will make a big difference. It’s only going to take a few minutes with my non-dominant hand. It will be over in seconds if I—”

“Whatever!” Zacharias interrupted. “Just catch up with us when you’ve neutralized him.”

Ron shot Hermione a worried look as she started walking away from Zacharias, Draco, and himself. “Be careful, Hermie,” he said.

“Not my name, _Ronald_ ,” she responded with a grin.

He smiled back. “Still, be careful.” She nodded and continued to the edge of the cliff.

Zacharias pulled Draco away as Hermione peered down the face of the cliff. She waited for a few minutes, practicing some wand work and muttering some spells under her breath, before asking, “Any way you could hurry up?”

The man, who was clad in all black clothing as well as a black domino mask, grunted. “This isn’t as easy as it looks,” he grumbled.

Hermione scowled. “Fine. It’s just that my boss says—”

“Could you stop talking while I climb?” the man in black shot back.

Letting out a huff of indignation Hermione repeated, “Fine,” and went to explore her surroundings. She took in the sparse greenery and the sand, taking note of places to trap the mysterious man and where she might be trapped herself. After having looked around twice, she walked back to the edge of the cliff. “Honestly, have you made _any_ progress?” she asked.

The man in black looked up in surprise. “I’m climbing up a straight cliff!” he spat out. “I would like to see you do any better!” He made his way up another metre before stopping. “If you’re in that much of a hurry, you could lower a rope or a branch or something.”

Hermione cocked her head to the side. “I could do that. I should let you know that I’ve been instructed to kill you. But I promise to wait until you’ve reached the top.”

The man in black let out a groan. “That does put a damper on our relationship.”

“I could give you my word as a Londoner?”

Shaking his head, he said, “No, I have known too many scoundrels from London.”

Hermione walked away and thought for a moment. She came back to the cliff. “What if I gave you my word on the soul of my father, Dentist Granger, that you shall reach the top alive?”

_“Dentist Granger?” Harry asks, between giggles. “Do you—”_

_“I’m sorry I don’t know Granger’s father’s name,” Draco spits out, flustered at the interruption._

_“His name is Richard,” Harry says after he stops laughing._

_“And how exactly was I supposed to know that?” Draco groused._

_Harry shakes his head. “It’s fine, love.” He shoots Draco a soppy look. “Continue?”_

“What if I gave you my word on the soul of my father, Richard Granger, you shall reach the top alive?”

“Lower the rope,” said the man in black.

After a few minutes, with the aid of a rope, the man in black was at the top of the cliff, breathing harshly. “Shall we?” he asked, starting to pull his wand from its holster.

Hermione shook her head. “No, no,” she assured him. “Catch your breath first.”

“Very kind of you.” He turned his head and started stretching his upper body, taking in their surroundings. “This seems like a good place for a duel.”

“Oh yes,” Hermione agreed. “Also I have to ask, do you have any accomplices? Specifically a woman with six fingers on her left hand?”

“...That’s oddly specific,” the man in black answered with a frown. “But no, it’s just me.”

“I only ask because when I was ten, my father was killed by a woman with six fingers on her left hand. He was a muggle and as such had no magic himself. But he was wonderful at carving wood and worked with a wizard, making wands. The six fingered woman commissioned a new wand, and after it was made, she found out the wandmaker worked with a muggle and slew both my father and the wandmaker. The wand responded to me so I challenged her to a duel.” Hermione looked down at the ground sadly. “She gave me this,” she pointed to a curse scar on her right cheek then turned to show a matching scar on her left cheek, “and this. I’ve studied dueling for the last fifteen years so that I could defeat her and avenge my father. When I find her, I will tell her: ‘Hello. My name is Hermione Granger. You killed my father. Prepare to die.'”

Hermione looked away for a moment. Turning back to the man in black she said, “I’m only working with Zacharias to pay the bills, and honestly I’m starting to get a little discouraged since I haven't yet been able to find the six-fingered woman.”

The man in black looked down at his feet and frowned. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Looking uncomfortable, Hermione replied, “Thank you.” 

After an awkward silence, the man in black jumped up. “I’m rested if you’re ready to duel.” He pulled his wand out of his thigh holster. Hermione nodded, pulled out her wand with her left hand, and cast a non-verbal hex which the man in black easily parried.

“Ah, are you leading with Snape’s offensive?” the man in black asked with a smile. 

“Yes,” Hermione answered with another hex, “I find it’s a good opener.” They spent several minutes firing and blocking hex after hex until the man in black went on the offensive. Dodging and returning hexes, Hermione asked, “Oh, are we switching to Sprout’s defense?”

Nodding, the man in black said, “I thought it fitting with the foliage.”

“Yes,” agreed Hermione with a quick hex, “but you must realize it’s easily countered by McGonagall’s shield?”

The man in black kept firing off hexes until both he and Hermione were breathing heavily. “You’re amazing!” he declared.

“A decade and a half of dueling will do that,” she responded with a smile. 

The man in black shot off several hexes and crowded her into a corner. “I’ve never dueled anyone as good as you.” He waited until Hermione had nowhere to turn, but catching her expression frowned.“You’re backed in a corner,” he said. “Why are you smiling?”

Hermione swapped wand hands with a satisfied look. “You see, I'm not left handed.” She shot off three hexes, making the man in black retreat. She successfully backed him up into a corner. “Now _you’re_ stuck,” she drawled.

The man in black gave her a blinding grin then swapped _his_ wand hand. “Oh, but you see, I’m not left handed, either.” He sent several hexes at Hermione, putting her, once again on the defensive.

“Who are you?” Hermione asked as she was backed up into a wall made of stone.

“No one that matters,” replied the man in black as he sent a non-verbal _Expelliarmus_ and deftly caught Hermione’s wand.

Wandless and trapped, Hermione straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. “Kill me quickly?” she asked, softly.

Shouting _Stupefy_ and knocking Hermione out, the man in black walked to where she lay. “I could no more destroy a vial of Felix Felicis,” he whispered. “But please know, I have never met your equal.” He put her wand back into its holster and ran off to where Draco had been dragged by Zacharias and Ronald.


	2. Chapter 2

While the man in black and Hermione had been dueling, Zacharias and Ron had been carrying Draco away from the cliffs. Zacharias kept looking behind them and after several minutes, saw the man in black running towards them. They were in a grassy area littered with rocks and boulders.

“He bested Hermione!” he shouted. “Inconceivable!” He looked frantically at Ron and Draco. “You!” he shouted, pointing at Ron. “He may have won against Hermione in a duel, but he won’t be able to beat your strength!”

“What do you want me to do?” Ron asked.

“FINISH HIM!” thundered Zacharias. 

“Sure, but, like...how?”

“I don’t care!” Zacharias shouted. “Throw a rock at him before he can see you!” 

Ron frowned. “That doesn’t seem very fair,” he replied.

“Fair?” asked Zacharias. “Who cares about fair? I didn’t hire you for your brains OR to be fair!”

_“Now, hang on,” interrupts Harry, getting up and stretching out his legs. “Ron’s not dumb.”_

_“Oh joy, another interruption,” Draco snarks. “We’ll all be up until the early hours of tomorrow at this rate.”_

_“Yeah, whatever Malfoy, but Ron’s my best mate and sure, he’s not as smart as Hermione,” he pauses then grudgingly says, “_ or you _, but he’s plenty smart!”_

_Draco smirks as Harry twists around, trying to unkink his back. “Let’s just agree that his strengths lie elsewhere.”_

_“I’ll remind you of that next time he kicks your… bum at chess.”_

_Glaring, Draco shushes Harry. “We’re evenly matched,” he says after a short pause._

_Harry rolls his eyes and considers the floor before Conjuring a second chair next to Draco’s. He settles in, making sure to be as close to Draco as possible. And while Draco is a little annoyed about the constant interruptions, he’s really enjoying his time with his son and Harry. Putting as much condescension as possible into his face, Draco pats Harry’s leg. “Shall we continue?”_

_Scorpius nods excitedly. “Yes!” he shouts. “More fighting!”_

_“He gets this from you,” Draco says to Harry._

_“You’re plenty blood-thirsty, dear,” Harry shoots back._

_“The man in black flinched when a large stone exploded by his face,” Draco says, ignoring everyone. “‘I didn’t have to miss you,’ Ron said as he lifted up another large rock. The man in black looked up in amazement. ‘I’ve really good aim,’ the giant continued. ‘I missed you on purpose.’_

_“‘I’m sure that you did,’ said the man in black easily. ‘You look like you’re very competent and have excellent aim.’”_

_Draco twists his head towards Harry. “Happy?” he gets out._

_“Yes, thank you, love. Will you continue?”_

_“The ginger giant nodded and stalked towards the man in black.”_

“I’m supposed to kill you, you know,” Ronald said. “My boss wanted me to take you out before you even came ‘round the corner. But I think I should be more sportsmanlike.”

The man in black looked up and down the giant’s body, taking in his oversized muscles and their incredible difference in height.

“You’re saying you’ll put down the rock in your hand, we’ll both lay down our wands, and just fight hand to hand, as god intended, _mano a mano_?” Ron nodded and threw the rock off to the side. It clattered loudly but neither the man in black nor Ron paid attention to it. They both nodded and sized each other up.

“It hardly seems fair,” said the man in black as he rushed up to Ron and started pummeling him, “you have such an advantage over me, what with your large size.”

Ronald laughed. “I don’t even lift. I was just born this way. ‘S not my fault.” The man in black grunted as he pushed himself away from the giant. Ron stalked forward and swung his arm, but the man in black ducked quickly and avoided being hit. Ron frowned. “You’re fast,” he admitted.

“I’m glad I am,” answered the man in black as he darted under Ron’s legs to try and mount a rear offensive. Ron turned around to swing at him and again, the man in black darted away.

“I must admit,” Ron said as he followed the man in black, “I don’t have as much experience fighting only one person. I usually take on whole groups.” He groaned as his next attempt at hitting the man in black failed.

“Is there a big difference?” asked the man in black, conversationally, while weaving around the giant. 

Ron nodded and the man in black jumped on his back, pulling his arm taut against Ron’s throat, working to cut off his air supply. “Different strategies,” he panted then pushed himself back to knock the man in black against a nearby boulder. “Different strategies,” he repeated, “when it’s only one man.” 

The man in black gasped as he was, once again, knocked against the boulder, but kept his arms wound tightly around Ron’s neck. “You see—” Ron wheezed out. “When it’s—” he pushed back against the boulder yet again, his voice strained— “when it’s one—” he let out a harsh gasp and fell to his knees. “One man…” he trailed off and the man in black laid him gently on the ground. 

The man in black went to find Ron’s wand and tucked it safely with the giant. “You’re going to have a terrible headache,” he said with a frown. “I apologise for that. But sleep well and dream of giant women.” Then he ran off to find Zacharias and Draco. 

——

While Ron and the man in black were brawling, Prince Voldie and the Countess Bellatrix, along with a couple of lackeys, were tracking the villains who had taken Draco. They had ridden Abraxans whose wings allowed them to fly to the top of the cliffs. Voldie jumped off his mount and looked at the footprints in the sand. 

“This is where Draco was taken by the enemies of Wiltshire. They must plan to start a war,” he said. 

“There was a great duel here,” he pronounced as he reenacted Hermione’s and the man in black’s footsteps. He studied various hex burns and chunks of rock that had been broken by the fight. “The winner went that way,” he pointed, “to Surrey.” Then he turned and said, “The loser went that way,” he pointed in the opposite direction. “The winner will lead us to Draco. We cannot risk flying again, the horses will take us too high. We must right to find my fiancé. 

“Do you think this could be a trap?” Bellatrix asked.

Voldie gave her a disdainful look. “I always plan for a trap,” he drawled. “It’s how I’m still alive.” He climbed back onto his horse and led everyone away from the cliff’s edge, towards the green fields, towards Surrey. 

——

Zacharias pulled Draco away from the rocky area, across a large, flat field. He saw a single rock, flat topped like a table, pushed Draco towards it, and muttered _Incarcerous_. Draco was bound and gagged and made to sit down by the rock. Zacharias muttered, wildly, to himself as they watched the man in black approach. As he got within speaking distance, Zacharias pulled out his wand and jammed it into Draco’s jaw.

“Move any closer and your precious prince will be dead,” he snarled.

The man in black held up his hands in surrender. “Let me explain—”

“No explanation is needed!” Zacharias shrieked. “I kidnapped the prince, and you’re trying to steal him away!”

Draco’s eyes filled with tears. He looked so beautiful in that moment, ice blond hair glinting in the harsh sunlight, grey eyes sparkling with unshed tears, skin pink from exertion, He had no idea how he was going to get away from Zacharias, and if the man in black bested _him_ , what horrors he might subject Draco to. He knew he was fair to behold; ever since his engagement, people had been trying to copy his platinum hair with glamours, his clear, pale eyes with potions—

_Draco’s glasses suddenly slip down his nose. He sighs and impatiently pushes them back up. Harry barks out a laugh. “Yes?” Draco asks, sarcasm dripping from his voice._

_“Nothing,” huffs Harry. “Just… how exactly does your immeasurable beauty factor so much into the story?”_

_Draco tosses his hair. “It just does,” he replies. “Clearly the whole thing started because of how beautiful I am.”_

_Snorting, Harry reaches over to mess up Draco’s hair. Draco bats his hand away. “I would thank you to leave my hair alone,” he says imperiously._

_“You’re cute when you get all proper,” Harry says with one last brush. Draco straightens himself up, once again pushing his glasses up his nose, and tires to fix his hair. Harry smirks._

_“Yes...” Draco drawls._

_“Well, it’s just—” Harry motions towards the top of Draco’s head._

_“Yes?” Draco demands, brows raised._

_“You’re kinda—” Harry flaps his hands. “Receding?” he squeaks._

_“My hairline is_ not _receding, I’ll have you know! It’s a widow’s peak and it’s very distinguished! ” Draco was_ not _shrieking, his voice was just a tad higher than usual when annoyed._

_Harry’s face contorts, trying to bite back a smile. “Distinguished,” he says. “Sure, we’ll go with that.”_

_Draco has to bite back his own grin. Smiling would only encourage Harry. Scorpius looks between them, giggling. Draco loses his battle and bursts into laughter, causing Harry to giggle as well. The three of them laugh for a few moments before Harry gasps out, “Your_ face _,” and Scorpius asks “What’s a widow’s peak?” which causes them all to laugh even harder._

 _“It’s that V shape your dad’s hair does at his hairline,” Harry says through his laughter. “It’s apparently rather_ posh _.”_

_After a few more minutes of laughing, Draco wipes some tears from his eyes and looks at his son. “I have no idea where I was,” he admits._

_“Harry caught up with you and Zacharias,” Scorpius says._

_“You don’t know it’s me!” Harry declares._

_Scorpius rolls his eyes. “I asked for a story about you and Dad,” he replies. “If you’re not the man in black, then the story is wasting all of our time.”_

_“‘You’re trying to steal the prince from me,’ Zacharias said with a scowl. The_ man in black _,” Draco looks directly at Scorpius and raises an eyebrow. Scorpius rolls his eyes. “The man in black moved a step closer to Draco.”_

“By all means Zacharias said, “come closer. I’ll kill him before you—”

“There’s no need for that!” exclaimed the man in black as he stood stock still. Then all of a sudden he smiled. “Can we come to some sort of understanding?” he asked in a conciliatory tone. 

Zacharias scoffed and shook his head. “You’ll never be a match for me intellectually and there’s no way I can beat you in a battle of strength, so I’m afraid this is where we must part. You’ve done ever so well getting this close to the prince, but I fear this is the end.” He stood up, still with his wand still jammed in Draco’s throat.

“How about a battle of wits?” the man in black asked. “Surely if you’re that intelligent, you will beat me. Easily.”

Zacharias preened. “I accept. But I assure you, you’re going to lose. I make Nicolas Flamel look like a idiot." He paused, looking back and forth between the man in black and Draco. "However, if you insist...” He smirked and sat back down, holstering his wand and motioning for the man in black to sit down on the other side of the rock. Draco followed his lead and gave the man in black a sceptical look. 

The man in black Conjured two clay goblets. He reached into his pocket (there must have been an Undetectable Extension Charm on it) and pulled out a bottle of wine and a small phial filled with a clear liquid. He filled up the goblets half-way then handed the phial to Zacharias. “This is a variant of Weedosoros. It’s undetectable, but unlike the standard brew, this is fatal. No painful convulsions, just death. If you are willing—”

“Yes!” Zacharias said with a maniacal look. “To the death,” he finished.

“Look at it, smell it,” the man in black said. “You can see it’s clear and has no odour or taste.” Zacharias sniffed deeply and smiled. “Give it back to me,” the man in black continued, “and I’ll put three drops in one of the goblets of wine. Then I’ll let you choose which one we both drink.”

Zacharias nodded. “I accept the terms.”

The man in black turned his back on Draco and Zacharias, and when he turned around again, he was gently swirling both goblets of wine. He placed the one in his left hand in front of himself and the one in his right hand in front of Zacharias. “Now it's up to you,” he said with a small smile. “Will you drink your own wine or would you prefer mine?”

Zacharias cackled. “You think you’re so smart,” he spat, “but clearly you know nothing of me. All I have to do is determine what sort of man you are. Are you so confident in your own cleverness that you put the poison in front of yourself or do you really think I’m such a dullard that I would drink my own wine?”

The man in black kept smiling. “What kind of man do you think I am?” he asked quietly.

“You’re dressed in black and wearing a mask so you clearly have something to hide! Were you horribly maimed? Do you have some sort of tattoo or scar that would tell me exactly who you are?” Zacharias took a deep breath. “Or are you just wearing it to make everyone think you’re a villain when, in all actuality, you’re on the side of the Light and are trying to rescue the prince to save him?”

The man in black let out a little hum, the small smile still on his face. 

“But,” Zacharias continued, “Weedosoros is not a common poison, and variants of it are even more unusual. Potions Masters in Knockturn Alley are known for experimentation, so surely this must be evidence that you are a criminal. If you’re a criminal you would have put the poison in the wine in front of yourself, assuming everyone is like you and wouldn’t trust the word of a stranger. Which means I should drink the wine in front of me. But!” he cried, making Draco flinch away. “You seem smart enough to realise I would recognize you as a criminal and couldn’t be trusted, so I would be remiss in choosing the wine in front of me. Also you must know I don’t trust you and would want to swap goblets, so I cannot choose the wine in front of you.”

Draco watched as the man in black gave a little shrug before asking, “Have you solved the puzzle?”

Zacharias let out a hysterical shriek. “I’m only getting warmed up!” he shouted as a little bit of spittle flew from his mouth. “You have beaten my giant, you must be relying on your own strength to keep you safe from the poison and would have put the poison in your own goblet. However you also bested one of the most talented duelists in the world, which means you’re obviously highly logical and know that strength alone cannot save you from poison, which means you would put it in _my_ goblet so as to keep it far from you so I cannot drink the wine in front of me.” His voice got higher and louder as he continued his tirade. The man in black didn’t say a word, just kept the small smile on his face.

“But you also have some sort of charm on your clothes and you may be counting on the fact that you have an antidote or bezoar hidden on your person and know you can reach it in time, which means I cannot drink the wine in front of you!” Zacharias shouted. “But we also know that bezoars aren’t effective with all poisons and if this is a new version of Weedosoros there may not be an antidote so I cannot drink the wine in front of me.”

The man in black’s smile grew bigger. “You’re trying to trick me,” he said. “I assure you, I’m going to give nothing away.”

“But you already have!” screamed Zacharias. “You’ve told me everything! I know _exactly_ which goblet to drink out of.”

The man in black nodded his head. “So you’re ready to make your choice?” he asked in a soft voice, only made softer by the contrast of Zacharias’ rant.

“Of course I am!” Zacharias yelled. “I’m going to—” he pointed to a spot behind the man in black. “Is that an Erumpent?” he cried. The man in black twisted his body to look at what Zacharias was pointing at, while Zacharias quickly swapped the goblets of wine. When the man in black turned back, he had a confused look on his face. “Maybe it was just a low cloud,” Zacharias said in a dismissive tone. “However, it is time to end this.” He picked up his goblet as Draco looked at the man in black in horror. “I'll drink the wine in front of me and let you drink the wine in front of you.”

Zacharias waited until the man in black raised his own goblet before nodding. “At the same time,” he demanded. The man in black lifted his goblet up in a mock toast. Draco watched as they both hesitated then drank their wine.

After a few seconds, Zacharias began cackling. “I swapped the goblets,” he crowed. “You fool!” he said as he laughed. “You fell for one of the classic blunders! The most famous is, of course, never turn your back on a Slytherin, but slightly less known is ‘never engage in a battle of wits with a Hufflepuff!'” Draco’s eyes never left the man in black’s face as Zacharias laughed.

Then suddenly, the laughter was cut short as Zacharias let out a moan and fell over, dead. Draco looked at the man in black in horror. “He swapped the goblets,” he whispered.

The man in black looked at Draco with a sneer. “They were both poisoned. I worked at Knockturn Alley with its creator and built up an immunity.”

“Who are you?” asked Draco. 

“No one of consequence,” the man in black replied as he pulled Draco up by the arm and started dragging him away from Zacharias’ body.

—— 

Prince Voldie and his entourage rode to the rocky terrain. He dismounted and looked at the demolished rocks. “Someone fought a giant and won,” he said as he walked to where an outline of Ron’s unconscious body was still visible in the grass. “Again, the victor leaves towards Surrey.” Voldie looked at Bellatrix and gave her a sharp nod. 

“We ride to find the prince,” he declared as he climbed back on his Abraxan mount. 

—— 

Draco had been kidnapped by no less than four people, all in the space of twenty-for hours. He was rather sick of it.

"I don't suppose you're planning on letting me go?" he asked the man in black.

"So you can go back to your fiancé?" replied the man in black with a sneer.

"I promise you'll come to no harm. And I'm sure a _generous_ reward could be easily arranged. I promise it to you. " Draco was not at all ashamed to throw Voldie's wealth at the other man if it meant his freedom.

"Promises of the rich." The man in black spat on the ground by Draco's feet. "Don't make me laugh."

“I must warn you that Prince Voldie is the best tracker of the century. He _will_ find me. There is no where you can take me that he will not find. Better you—”

“Oh, your dearest love will save you?” 

Draco straightened up. “He is not my dearest love,” he said in a quiet, sad voice. “But he will save me, yes.”

The man in black cocked his head. “You do not love your intended?”

“He is aware.” Draco spit out.

“And he has no problem marrying someone who is incapable of love?”

Draco looked at him, askance. “You presume to know me, but you know nothing! I _have_ loved!” he shouted. “I have loved and lost more deeply than you could possibly comprehend!”

The man in black’s hand twitched by his wand. “Now who is presuming to know the other.”

“I know who you must be,” Draco said in a cold voice. “There is only one man who is as horrible as you; you’re the Dread Pirate Black.”

Bowing, the Dread Pirate Black smirked at Draco. “At your service.”

——

Prince Voldie reached the clearing where Zacharias’ body lay. He dismounted and grabbed the phial off the stone table. Picking up a goblet, he smelled, first the phial, then the cup. “Weedosoros,” he proclaimed. “The man who now has Draco has poisoned this man with Weedosoros. If he has access to poison like this, he must be a worse villain than we thought.” Voldie dropped the phial and cup and didn’t flinch when they shattered. He mounted his Abraxas and looked at Countess Bellatrix. “We must find Draco.”

——

The pirate pulled Draco to the top of a huge hill. At its base lay the Forbidden Forest. “Come,” he demanded.

Draco refused to move. “You killed my one True Love,” he spat.

Black smiled. “Oh?” he asked. “Do tell. Was he like your fiancé: rich beyond measure, hideous, and caring for no one but himself?”

“No,” whispered Draco. “He was poor and kind; a farmboy employed by my parents’ estate. He was more beautiful than I ever thought possible. He had darker colouring than me,” Draco waved his pale arm, “his skin a warm mahogany, and his hair as black as pitch, but so soft and thick. His eyes were like emeralds behind his glasses. But more precious to me grab his beauty was the generosity of his heart. Harry—” Draco let out a gasp. “He sailed the seas to help me save my family’s farm. But _your_ ship attacked and he was killed at sea. After all, we all know the Dread Pirate Black never takes prisoners.”

Black nodded. “Yes, well the problem is, if you go too soft on people, they want _things_ from you. If you show yourself to be _soft_ the world walks all over you, Prince. Once it gets out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you and it’s nothing but work, work, work all the time.”

Draco let out an unsteady breath. “You mock my pain,” he said softly.

“Life is pain, Prince. Anybody who tells you differently is selling something.” Black took a moment, seemingly deep in thought. “I think I remember your _Harry_ ,” he said seriously. “This was what, about three years ago?”

Draco nodded.

“He died well, if that means anything,” Black said. “Does it upset you to hear me speak of him?”

Draco shook his head, blinking back tears. “Nothing you can say can hurt me more than your actions three years ago.”

“I do remember… the _Phoenix_ was his ship, yes?” He paused while Draco nodded again. “He asked me to _please_ , please let him return home to his one True Love. The _please_ is what I remember; that and his green eyes. Not many people are polite to pirates, so it rather stood out. But he spoke of you, his True Love as if you were an angel; your generosity and kindness knew no bounds; your beauty beyond compare.” Black scoffed. “Maybe it’s better he died all those years ago, instead of finding out your love was conditional.” Draco stood stock-still as Black asked, “Did you wait a full week before becoming engaged or did you agree to marry the prince as soon as you heard of this Harry's passing?”

Feeling rage pulse through his veins, Draco shouted, “All you know is cruelty and mockery! I died that day!” Stalking closer to the pirate, he said, “And you can die, too, for all I care!” as he pushed Black down the hill.

Frozen in shock at his daring, Draco’s breath was stolen from him as the Dread Pirate Roberts shouted, “As you wish!” as he rolled down the hill.

_“I told you Harry was the Dread Pirate Black!” Scorpius crows._

_“Yes, you’re very clever,” Draco responds before continuing the story._

_“So Draco threw himself down after Harry, cursing himself for not looking closer, not realising that his True Love was right in front of him the whole time.”_

——

Prince Voldie laughed as he saw the man in black and Draco fall down the hill. “He must have seen us,” he said as he gestured towards the top of the hill. “But he has had a lapse in judgement. At the bottom of that hill, lies the Forbidden Forest. They have no chance.” He motioned to his entourage. “Come! We must ride to save the prince!”

——

“Harry!” Draco gasped as he crawled towards him. “How?” he asked. “Why?” 

Harry didn’t answer, instead, he pulled Draco close and kissed him gently. He must have lost his mask on the way down the hill because Draco was able to look at his beautiful face. “Can you walk?” Harry asked, concerned.

“Walk?” Draco retorted. “I could fly without my broom!” he exclaimed. “You’re alive! I can do _anything_!”

Harry stood and helped Draco up before pulling him into a tight embrace. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” he asked.

Draco pulled his head back to give him an incredulous look. “You were _dead_ , Harry.”

“Yes, but—”

“No! No buts—”

_Harry lets out a snicker. “No butts,” he says under his breath. Scorpius snickers too._

_Draco rolls his eyes and sighs. “Salazar, you’re both eight. Can I get back to the story?”_

“No, Harry," Draco insisted. "You were _dead_. There’s no coming back from that." He let out a sigh.

“Darling, know this, I will _always_ come back to you. This is True Love,” he insisted. “The normal rules of the universe no longer apply.”

Grabbing Draco’s hand, Harry walked to the Forbidden Forest. “Your prince will never catch us now,” he said with obvious glee. “We’ll be safe in the Forbidden Forest.”

Draco looked at him, aghast. “We’ll die in the Forbidden Forest!” he exclaimed.

Harry just smiled at him. “Nonsense. We’ll be perfectly safe there. Just because the forest has killed everyone who has entered it, doesn't mean we'll meet the same fate.”

“If you insist,” Draco said as he followed Harry into the forest. He held tight to Harry’s hand. 

“It’s not too bad,” Harry said, after looking at the trees and plants surrounding them. “Nice and quiet.” Draco frowned at him. “I’m not saying we should build a cottage!” Harry insisted. “It just seems like its reputation isn’t very accurate.”

A popping noise sounded behind them and suddenly the hem of Draco’s robes were on fire. Harry grabbed his wand and muttered _Aguamenti_ to put out the flames before pivoting and shouting _Diffindo_ at the Venomous Tentacula behind Draco. The plant ceased its thrashing and stayed still, the loss of one of its vines subduing it for the time being.

Harry smiled and Draco wanted to throttle him. “That wasn’t too bad!” he exclaimed. “We both know Venomous Tentacula on sight and the ones that shoot fireballs obviously make a nice, popping sound so we know what to look for.”

Draco rolled his eyes, but was unable to bite back his smile.

“Don’t worry, love,” Harry reassured him. “We'll soon be out of the forest and laughing about our adventure.”

They walked, hand in hand for several long minutes before Draco couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Harry, how exactly did you end up as the Dread Pirate Black? Everyone knows he’s been marauding for twenty years and you’ve only been gone three!”

Harry laughed and pulled Draco back into his arms. “It’s actually a funny story. My ship _was_ attacked. And Black took me as his prisoner, that much you know. But I wasn’t lying when I said my _please_ caught his attention. That and my description of our love stilled his hand that first night. The next day Black told me that he’d never had a valet, so I was conscripted into duty. I served him, but every night he told me, ‘Good night, Harry. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning’.”

Draco let out a gasp. Harry squeezed his hand then pulled it to his mouth to lay a soft kiss on Draco’s knuckles. “It’s fine, love. I learned how to duel and fight from his men and I was always treated well. Even if, every night, Black said he might kill me the next morning. A year went by like this until the routine of it gave me no fear. By then I had become Black’s right hand man and he finally confided in me. He told me that he was not the _true_ Dread Pirate Black.” Draco squeaked. “Yes, I was surprised as well,” Harry said with laughter in his tone. “Black told me her name was actually Tonks.”

“Her?” Draco gasped out.

Harry nodded and kissed the tip of Draco’s nose before pulling back to walk around the little clearing. “Yes, she's a Metamorphmagus who had taken over for her friend Lupin, the second _Black_. Lupin had taken over the title from his lover, Sirius Black, the original Dread Pirate Black. Black and Lupin had retired to an island, to live their lives in peace, leaving Tonks in charge. But Tonks had amassed enough wealth to last her the rest of her life. She told me I could take over as the pirate; we would find a new crew and she would act as my first mate, all the while calling me Black. Because, of course, the name was the most important part. No one would be afraid of the _Pirate Potter_. So we sailed that way for a few months and finally she was able to retire with her friends. Now that I’ve found you again, I will hand the title over to someone else and we can live off my riches.”

“Sure,” Draco said. He shook his head in confusion. “So you’re…”

“Rich?” Harry asked, leaning against a tree and trying to look nonchalant.

Draco glared at him. “Retiring,” he said. 

“Ah, well,” Harry winked, “I am both.” They stared at each for a moment before Draco let out a disbelieving giggle and started walking, hoping he was going the right way.

“Well, if you’re both rich and retired—” he was cut off as he was suddenly sucked into a Man-Eating Bog, something he thought was only legend. 

Seeing Draco disappear into the ground, Harry wasted no time. He Conjured a rope and tied it around his waist and to the large tree he had been leaning against. Casting a Bubble Head Charm, he dove in to rescue Draco. A few tense moments went by before he found Draco and he shouted _Ascendio_. They burst out of the Bog and landed in a heap.

Draco pulled Harry close to him, breathing harshly. “Y- you—” he stuttered. “Saved me.”

Harry sent a gentle _Scourgify_ over them both, then kissed Draco. “I’ll always come for you, my love.”

They spent a few minutes looking the other one over for bruises and injuries and, finding none, started on their way out of the Forest. 

“I think we could make a life here,” Harry said, optimistically. “We know the tricks of the Venomous Tentacula and it looks like the Bog has a slight sheen to it, so we should be able to avoid that as well. I don’t really understand the fuss.”

Draco frowned at him. “What about A.O.U.S’s?” he asked, sceptically. 

“Arachnids of Unusual Sizes?” Harry raised his eyebrows and smiled reassuringly. “I don’t think they exist.” He motioned for Draco to continue on their path, but then, as if it had appeared from thin air, an Acromantula attacked Harry, sending him to the ground.

_“They fought and Harry was so very brave, blah, blah, blah, Harry you’re a national treasure, can we move on to more of the story that’s not about you saving me?” Draco asks, with a frown._

_“You’re telling the story,” Scorpius points out. Harry nods in agreement,_

_“Yes, but in my haste, I’ve made Harry the hero while I'm relegated to the damsel in distress.” Draco reaches over to pinch Harry on the thigh, making him yelp._

_“I_ am _a hero,” Harry snarks. “But yes, feel free to change the scene as you see fit. It’s your story.”_

 _Draco lets out a little_ hurmph _but looks at his husband. “Thanks for your permission,” he says with a small sneer._

_Harry raises his hands in surrender. “Darling, this is your story. It’s not my fault your subconscious cast me as the brave hero.”_

_Scorpius lets out a giggle and Draco turns to glare at him. He’s got his face in his hands and his shoulders are shaking and Draco grunts._

_“Harry, the nitwit, was attacked by a giant spider, because, of course he was,” Draco bites out. “And seeing his helpless love attacked, Draco pulled his wand from its holster, shooting an exacting_ Diffindo _at the creature, killing it dead.”_

_“When did you get your wand back?”_

_“Obviously when you gave it to me when we walked into the Forbidden Forest, after I knew it was you.” Draco says with a sigh._

_“So the giant spider was dead,” Draco says. Loudly. “Harry’s shoulder had been injured in the fight so Draco had to help him up.”_

“Thank you,” said Harry as he leaned against Draco. “You saved me,” he said in awe. They hobbled out of the Forest. They were met by Prince Voldie, Countess Bellatrix, and a few soldiers. They were on foot and all had their wands drawn.

“Surrender,” Voldie commanded.

“With pleasure,” Harry replied and he held out his hand. “I’ll just take your wands and—”

“No,” Bellatrix cut in, “you’re to surrender to _us_.”

“Ah,” Harry said. “Then no, thank you, we decline.”

“We're armed,” Bellatrix drawled. “Don't be foolish.”

Harry pulled out his wand. “I'm armed as well,” he said as he got into dueling position. “I will happily fight you—”

"Surrender!" Voldie shouted again.

"Death first!" Harry roared.

“Do you promise not to hurt him?” Draco shouted at the prince.

Harry wrenched his head to the side. “What are you doing?” he hissed.

“Prince Voldie, do you promise not to hurt him?” Draco repeated.

“I promise,” Voldie answered. “Nothing shall happen to him. I give you my word as the first of my name, Prince Voldie Plonker Riddle.”

_Harry snickers and whispers, “Accurate.” Draco winks._

“What are you doing?” Harry murmured. 

“I’ve lost you once,” Draco whispered back. “I can’t go through that again. I would rather be parted from you than have you harmed.”

“But—”

“This man is the captain of the ship _Le Loup_. If you make sure he is safe and on his way, I will go back to the castle with you,” Draco announced, feeling his heart break.

Harry watched as one of the soldiers led Draco to his Abraxan. When they were a safe distance away, Voldie leaned down to Bellatrix. “When we’re clear take him to the Chamber of Secrets.” She nodded as Voldie got on his Abraxan and rode away.

“Shall we ride to your ship?” Bellatrix asked with a leer.

Harry shook his head. “Neither you nor I are idiots,” he said with a scowl. 

Bellatrix tittered. “True.” She tossed her wand between her left and right hand, as if taunting Harry.

He raised his eyebrows. “I see you have six fingers on your left hand.”

She scowled. “What business is it of yours?”

Harry shrugged. “I met someone who was looking for you.”

Instead of answering, Bellatrix shouted _Stupefy_ and everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry woke up gradually.

First he noticed the bonds around his chest, wrists, thighs, and ankles. Then he realized his wounds from the Forbidden Forest had been healed. He opened his eyes when he heard someone walk towards him. “Where am I?” he croaked.

“The Chamber or Secrets,” the rat-like man said. "I am its caretaker, Wormtail." He looked down at Harry and tightened the straps around his chest. “Don’t even try to escape.”

Harry wriggled as best he could in his restraints. “Why did you bother to heal me if you’re only going to kill me?”

“The Countess likes everyone to be in perfect health before she starts her _experiments_.”

Harry let out a huff of breath. “So it will be torture?” He let out a dry laugh. “I can do torture.”

Wormtail let out a malevolent sound of glee. “Not like this,” he said.

——

The king died the next night and Draco married Voldie the following morning. Once again, Voldie delivered a speech from a balcony, high above his subjects and Draco was on the ground, waiting to be introduced. He fought back tears as he walked out of the castle, still in his wedding robes. The robes were snowy white covered in silver embroidery and they were heavy and stiff. His hair had been left loose, but brushed until it shone platinum in the sun. He had even had a few Cosmetic Charms applied so his light eyes would be more prominent. Though Draco had never been as pampered, he had never been more miserable. 

“Love your husband as you love Wiltshire, and there will be peace and happiness,” the newly crowned King Voldie proclaimed. “Those were my father’s dying words.” He spread his arms wide and looked down at Draco with a soft smile. “I present to you, His Royal Highness, the High Prince of Wiltshire, Draco.”

Draco took in the crowd and tried his hardest to smile at them. Suddenly a crusty woman with dark hair and bright red lips stepped forward. Though she was conventionally pretty, she was covered in warts, making her difficult to look at. She sneered down her button nose. “Boo!” she shouted.

_“I’m sorry,” Harry says. “But there’s only one woman who looks like—”_

_Draco turns to glare at Harry. “She said my hair was more grey than blond, Potter.”_

_“But she’s—”_

_“She’s a pain,” Draco says, interrupting again._

_Scorpius watches them both. “Is it Aunt—”_

_Draco lets out a little wail. “The harpy doesn’t have a name! She’s unique to this story!” he insists. Then in a hiss, “If you tell Pansy about this,_ Potter _, you can say goodbye to any semblance of intimacy with me.”_

 _Laughing, Harry shakes his head. “She’s_ your _friend,” he insists. “It’s not like we hang out without you.”_

 _Draco eyes him warily then looks at Scorpius. “Are you ready to go back to the story about the gross woman whom I do not know and who definitely_ did not _insult me over drinks last week?”_

_Even Scorpius can see through him so Draco jumps back into the story._

_“‘Boo,’ said the old woman as she looked at Draco and his beautiful blond hair.” Draco shakes his head to make said hair fly around attractively. “‘Boo!’ the woman continued her rant.”_

“You had _True Love_ ,” she said. “You had your love in front of you and you threw him away like he was nothing.”

“They would have killed Harry if I hadn’t intervened,” Draco insisted. 

“Boo,” the crone repeated. “Your love lives while you’re married to another. He saved you from bandits and the Forbidden Forest and you threw him away like rubbish.” She sneered at him. “Bow down,” she said to the people around her. “Bow down to the prince of trash; the prince of dirt; the prince of refuse. Bow down,” she taunted. “Bow!”

Draco woke up with his heart in his throat. The king was still alive and he was still unwed, though the planned wedding was to happen in less than a week. He quickly put his dressing gown over his pyjamas and ran to Prince Voldie’s chambers. He was at his desk, working on businesses of state while Countess Bellatrix was lurking in the corner of the room.

“I cannot marry you,” Draco declared. Prince Voldie looked up in surprise. “I love Harry. I always have. If I must marry you in a few days, please know I will be dead by tomorrow morning.”

“There is no need for that,” Voldie said in a rush. “If you truly don't wish to marry me, I won’t force your hand.” He looked over at Bellatrix to ask, “You returned him, Harry, to his ship, correct?”

Bellatrix nodded. 

Voldie smiled. “Then we shall simply owl for him to return. I will send my fastest owl to find him. Her tracking skills are almost equal to my own. She will find him. But when she does, Draco, darling, what happens if he declines? You did abandon him at the exit of the Forbidden Forest. And he _is_ a pirate, an occupation that does not lend itself to steadfastness.”

Draco straightened his shoulders and looked down at the prince. “My Harry will always come for me.”

With a solemn nod, Voldie picked up a piece of parchment and a quill. “Write your letter and give it to Bellatrix. She will see it delivered to the owlery. My dear, if he accepts your proposal, I will be the first in line to congratulate you both. However—” Voldie frowned— “I would ask, on the slight chance he refuses, that you would consider me as an alternative to death.“

“Yes,” Draco said in a small voice. “Should the unthinkable happen, I will still marry you.” 

Draco went back to his chambers and wrote a quick letter to Harry and gave it to Bellatrix who took it without a word. Then he started pacing, worried about Harry.

After Bellatrix returned to Voldie’s chambers and they burned Draco’s letter, Bellatrix suggested they go check on Harry. They walked quietly through the castle and into a copse of trees.

“You know, when I hired Zacharias to kill Draco on the day we got engaged, I thought that was inspired. But now, he is even more beloved by the people, his murder on our wedding day by an agent from Surrey, will rile up the commoners and there will be no recourse but to start a war.”

“Yes, the common scum are rather fond of him,” Bellatrix allowed. “He’s rather simple, but quite striking.” She walked up to a tree covered in whorls and knots, searching. “I never can remember where the knot is,” she complained as she started poking at the tree. “Do you have time to come down?”

Voldie let out a deep laugh. “I would love to watch you work, you’re a master at your craft, but I’m afraid my plate is rather full at the moment.” He let out a sigh. “I’ve got to plan the murder of my groom, frame Surrey for the murder, the city’s 700th anniversary party to plan. I have little time to rest, much less timeto do things I enjoy.”

Bellatrix gave him a sympathetic look. “Go,” she said. “Do what you need. Please take care of yourself. If you don’t have your health you haven’t got anything.”

As Voldie turned to walk back to the castle, Bellatrix found the correct knot and pressed the point of the wand against it. The tree trunk opened and she walked down the stairs to her _laboratory_.

“Good evening,” she said to Harry who was now gagged. She pulled out something that was reminiscent of a wand. It was made of bleached bone and pointed at both ends. The handhold was thicker than the shaft, and the shaft was covered in thorns. There wasn’t a smooth surface on it, and as Bellatrix tightened her grip, Harry saw a drop of blood fall from her palm.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” she asked as she waved it over his body, now dripping blood on Harry. “It’s my own invention.” Harry grunted. “Yes, it _is_ a wand, but it was forged with Dark Magics and twists spells.” Bellatrix smiled, making Harry shiver from the cruel set of her mouth. “I am a…” she thought for a moment. “I would consider myself an aficionado of pain. And this,” she waved the wand, “helps me with my experiments. I’m currently working on a book about it, so as we progress, I would like it if you were completely honest with me. I have Veritaserum, but it can sometimes skew the results.”

Stepping away from Harry, Bellatrix closed her eyes and took a deep breath. On the exhale she whispered _Confringo Minimo_ and Harry screamed. He thrashed as the blood in his body started exploding and—

_“This is a little gory,” Harry says, frowning._

_Draco, who had admittedly gotten caught up in the story, looks at Scorpius who blinks at him, guilelessly. “Is it too much, Scorpius?” he asks gently._

_Scorpius shrugs. “I mean, it’s nothing worse than what I’ve read about the wars with Voldemort.”_

_Draco is quiet for a long minute. He feels Harry snake his arm around Draco’s torso and he leans in to the embrace. “You know I regret…” he says thickly._

_Scorpius climbs out of bed and into Draco’s lap. “I know Dad,” he replies with the easiness of youth. “Harry and I have talked too. Plus Grandmother told me about what she and your dad did. And mostly all Harry talked about was what you’ve done since the end of the war and what a good man you are now.”_

_Biting his lip, Draco lets out a sigh. “You know not everybody is as forgiving as Harry—”_

_“They should be!” Harry half shouts. “We were all kids. You did your penance. I_ know _how you feel about everything and if I can forgive you, everyone else should be able to as well!”_

_Draco lets out a little laugh as he hugs Scorpius tightly. “Harry has strong feelings,” he whispers to his son._

_“You’re a good dad, Dad,” Scorpius whispers back and Draco has to fight back tears. “And Harry’s right to be mad.”_

_“Told you,” Harry whispers, interrupting the conversation and making Draco smile. “It sounds like things were getting exciting if I was being tortured.” He picks Scorpius out of Draco’s lap and puts him back in bed, tucking him in. “Why don’t we go back to the story, love.”_

_“‘That wasn’t enough to cause severe damage,’ Bellatrix said calmly.” Draco looks at Scorpius again to make sure he’s not bothered too much by the story. He seems more impatient than distressed so Draco jumps back into the story._

“That was enough to take a year off of your life,” continued Bellatrix. “Tell me,” she pauses and looks at Harry, cold and detached from Harry's suffering. “How do you feel? And remember, be honest.”

Harry let out a gurgle of pain and groaned.

——

Prince Voldie was in his chambers, again at his desk, waiting on the Carrows, his Chief Enforcers, to come. He was finishing a missive, when Alecto cleared her throat. “Sir?” she asked.

“Ah yes,” Voldie replied. “I need the two of you to clear out the Thieves Forest. Arrest _everyone_. There have been rumours that someone is plotting to murder my Draco on the evening of our wedding. This cannot come to pass.”

“My spies have reported nothing of the sort.” Alecto gave him a sly look. “But Amycus and I would be happy to recruit more volunteers for the Countess’ Brute Squad.”

Voldie nodded. “Yes,” he said shortly. “Whatever you need to keep Draco safe.”

As if summoned by his name, Draco walked into Voldie’s chambers. “Any word from Harry?” he asked.

Voldie’s face had a sympathetic expression. “None yet, darling. But it has only been a little while. I’m sure we will hear news soon.”

Draco nodded, turned on his heel, and left.

Voldie turned back to his two enforcers. “Nothing must happen to Draco,” he reiterated. The Carrows grunted their agreement. “Now go!” he demanded. “Clear out the forest!”

——

Finally it was the morning of Draco and Prince Voldie’s wedding. The country of Wiltshire had been busy with preparations for the upcoming nuptials and the 700th celebration of Hogwarts. The Carrows were busy clearing out the Thieves Forest. 

“Is that everyone?” Alecto asked.

One of the members of the Brute Squad shook his head. “There’s a Londoner still giving us trouble.” Amycus grunted and glared.

Alecto looked at the members, her sight settling on a large ginger giant. “You!” she shouted, pointing at Ron. “Take care of it!”

Ron nodded and walked to the house that was surrounded by three brutes. He waved them off. “I’ll take care of it,” he muttered. Then, to his surprise, the person causing so much trouble was _Hermione_. She was half-sitting, half-laying on the ground against a house, clearly inebriated. 

“Go back to the beginning,” she slurred. “That’s what Zach always said.” She drank from a flask and fired off a few Stinging Hexes. “I’m at the beginning!” she shouted. “What am I supposed to do now?”

Smiling, Ron ambled over to her. “Hermie,” he said in greeting.

“Not my name,” she grumbled without thinking. Then, realizing there was only one person who called her that, she spun around. “Ron!” she shouted. “What’s the plan?”

Ron walked over to help her stand before letting out a noise of disapproval. “You don’t look so good.” Hermione got up, clumsily, before leaning all of her weight on Ron. “Oof,” he continued, “you don’t smell so good either” Hermione rolled her eyes and let out a _pfffffft_ before passing out. 

Sobering Hermione up took—

_“You know, next Sunday dinner, I’m going to tell her that you made her brilliant, but a drunkard,” Harry says with a smirk._

_Draco smirks back. “Then she needs to learn to hold her wine.”_

_Warring between laughing at Hermione and irritation on behalf of one of his best friends, Harry insists, “It was_ one time _!” Then, breaking his stern facade, he giggles. “It was pretty funny though.”_

_Scorpius has been looking back and forth between Draco and Harry with a grin. “Are you talking about when Aunt Hermione threw up on Aunt Andromeda’s—”_

_‘Yes!” squeaks Harry. “But we were all sworn to secrecy! We got it all cleaned up and Andi doesn’t need to know…” he trails off and lets out a snort. “Just, your Aunt Andi is scarier than your Aunt Hermione and there was really no harm—”_

_“No harm!” interjects Draco. “It was a priceless Black family heirloom!” He sits up and gives Harry a regal look. “Just because the Potters don’t have antiquities doesn’t mean—”_

_“Dad, are we ever going to get back to the story or are you and Harry going to keep flirting?” Scorpius interrupts what will surely be a long and well enunciated speech._

_All the false bluster leaves Draco as he smiles back at his son. They grin at each other for a few moments before Draco rolls his eyes, mutters, “It was ugly anyway, vomit probably didn’t lessen its value,” and goes back to the story._

“I know who the woman with six fingers works for!” Ron half shouted to now a clear-headed Hermione.

“Why didn’t you lead with that?” Hermione shook her head. Then after a pause she threw her hands in the air and asked, “Well?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” replied Ron. “It’s just that your hair looks really nice in this lighting and I got distracted.” He shook his head. “Your six fingered woman is none other than the Countess Bellatrix who is Prince Voldie’s right hand.”

Hermione drew her wand so fast Ron goggled a bit. “You’re faster than I remember,” he whispered. Then, even more quietly, “Also you’re really pretty.” 

She blushed a little bit. “Thanks, but now is really not the time, Ronald.” Pacing, she started wringing her hands. “How many guards are at the gate?”

“About thirty,” Ron answered. 

“How many can you fight at once?”

Ron thought for a moment. “Ten? Fifteen if they’re not using magic.”

Hermione sighed. “I’m sure they'll all have wands,” she responded. “So if you fight ten, that leaves twenty for me.” She paced some more. “We need the man in black,” she said after a minute.

“But—”

Hermione shook her head. “Normally I would say we could do it alone. We’re both really good at what we do. But thirty men is just too many. We need a third person. We _must_ find the man in black!” Full of purpose, she started walking away from the forest, towards the castle.

“Where are we going?” Ron asked as he ran a little to catch up.

“To recruit the man in black.” She smiled, a little bloodthirsty. “We have to find him so I can avenge my father!”

“But we don’t know where he is!” Ron insisted.

Hermione looked over at Ron. “I think finding him will be the least difficult thing we do today.”

—— 

“How goes your progress in the Thieves Forest?” Voldie asked the Carrows. 

“All clear,” Alecto answered. “We have thirty guards at the front gate.” She had a malevolent grin on her face as she held up her wand. “The gates will be keyed to my wand so no one may enter. I don’t anticipate any trouble.”

“That’s not enough!” Voldie thunders. “Double the number of guards! Nothing must happen to Draco!”

While waiting for a return owl from Harry, Draco had started walking around the castle to help calm his mind. He had gotten progressively more anxious as the date of his wedding to Voldie grew nearer. He heard Prince Voldie shout at the Carrows and at hearing his name, he walked into Voldie’s chambers. 

“Ah, my darling,” Voldie said when he saw Draco enter. “We’re to marry tonight and all of the kingdom’s owls will be sent out to deliver the joyous news.” 

Draco frowned at Voldie’s smile. “All of the owls except your best owl, though.” he said.

Voldie shook his head. “I’m sorry?” he asked.

“All of the owls except your best,” Draco repeated. “The owl that you sent to Harry…” he trailed off in understanding. “Oh,” he said matter-of-factly. “You didn’t send…” Sighing, he straightened his shoulders. “It hardly matters. My Harry will come for me.”

“You’re daft,” Voldie said as he grabbed Draco’s arm harshly and pulled him past Carrow.

“Yes, I am daft,” Draco agreed as he was half dragged out of Voldie’s chambers. “Daft to think I could ever marry someone like you. A _coward_ like you.” He yanked at Voldie’s grip, but wasn’t able to break free. 

“I would not say such things if I were you,” Voldie growled as he pulled Draco towards his own quarters.

“I don't fear you,” Draco declared brazenly. “How can I, when I know Harry will come? We are bound by True Love, something you’ll never know. Love like ours cannot be destroyed by spells or potions; it cannot be tracked down and tortured; it cannot be broken by anything you can Conjure. And believe me when I tell you you _are_ a coward. A spineless, noseless, coward of a man who is more disgusting than all the shit that fills the stables. And I will NEVER marry you!”

“I WOULD NOT SAY SUCH THINGS IF I WERE YOU!” screamed Voldie and he threw Draco into his room and locked the door.

Incensed by Draco’s insults, Voldie ran out of the castle and into the copse where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets was hidden. He violently pushed at the knot and ran down the steps to where Harry was being kept. Bellatrix stood when she saw he was there, his appearance a surprise. She started to smile as Voldie stomped to her desk and grabbed her wand.

“What?” she started, but Voldie ignored her and turned on Harry who was still bound and gagged.

“You might have had _True Love_ ,” he said menacingly. “You and Draco might have been that one lucky couple in an age who really and truly had _True Love_ and been happy. But that is so very rare.” He leaned down to whisper. “Because you might have had the happiness that so few have had, it will be fitting that you suffer as so few have.” Voldie lifted the wand and roared “ _Confringo Maxima_ ” and Harry screamed.

——

Ron and Hermione were almost at the castle when they heard a blood curdling scream. Stopping so suddenly it made Ron trip, Hermione looked around the little circle of trees they were standing in. “Ron,” she whispered as the agonised wail continued for long seconds. Hermione reached for her wand as the cry got more piercing and Ron shuddered, covering his ears. Then as suddenly as it had started, the wail cut off.

“Ron,” Hermione whispered again, her voice loud in the stark silence. “I know that cry. It is the epitome of suffering. My heart made that cry when I saw my father murdered in front of me all those years ago. I had hoped to never hear the sound again, but now the man in black makes it.” 

Ron looked at her, worried. “The man in black?” he asked.

Hermione nodded. “Yes. His True Love is marrying another tonight. Who else could be suffering so much?” 

They heard a branch break and Hermione cast a Disillusionment Charm over them both so they wouldn’t be found. A ragged man, with big, rat-like teeth walked into the copse, pushing a wheelbarrow. He looked nervy and on edge. Hermione dropped her charm and he let out a little squeak.

“Where is the man in black?” she demanded.

“Who?” he asked.

“Ron, jog his memory.”

Pulling his wand out, Ron cast and the man fell down. He gave Hermione an apologetic look. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to jog him so hard.”

Ignoring him, Hermione looked around the trees for clues, for a sign, for _something_ that might give them an idea of where the man in black might be hidden. She let out a sigh that sounded like a sob. “Father,” she whispered. “I have failed you. I have lived my life to avenge you and now that I’ve gotten so close, I cannot finish my task. Not alone. Somewhere, close, is the man who can help me exact vengeance on your murderer but I need your help.” She closed her eyes and dropped to her knees, unholstering her wand. “Please Father,” she murmured. “Please, help.”

Hermione was pulled up and tossed to and fro with her wand in front of her, almost as if she was being pulled by the strings of an invisible marionettist. Her wand bumped tree to tree to tree until all of the strength left her body and she collapsed against a gnarled tree, her wand tapping a knot, and the opening to the Chamber of Secrets was revealed.

She rushed down the stairs, barely registering that Ron was right on her heels. They both froze in horror as they saw the man in black’s body lying lifeless before them.

“So he’s dead,” Ron said.

“Yes, it would appear—”

 _“But you didn’t die, right Harry?” Scorpius cuts in, worry evident in his voice. Draco shivers from his memories of the war as he wonders what to tell his son. He takes a deep breath and holds it, looking at Scorpius with a grimace. “Harry_ can’t _die!” Scorpius insists. “He’s right here!”_

 _Draco lets his breath out in a shudder and starts to get up to comfort his son when Harry’s voice cuts in. "I mean. Technically… yes. I did die. It wasn’t for very long!” he insists, oblivious to the rising tension. Draco’s left awkwardly standing, while Harry talks. “And I’m fine now! No lasting damage!” Scorpius still looks worried as Harry continues, “Don't worry, it's really hard to kill me." He gives Scorpius his best_ Witch Weekly _smile. “I’m fine!” he repeats._

 _Thankful for the break, and realizing that his husband is still a bit of a twit, Draco cuts in. "Potter, that's categorically not true. You're killed as easily as anyone else. Your strength is in not_ staying _dead."_

_"And that's better, how?" Scorpius asks._

_"It means I'll always do my best to come back to my family."_

_Scorpius sniffles and Draco does go to his son this time, pulls the boy into an embrace, and upgrades his opinion of Harry to only_ half _a twit. “We both love you so much, Scorpius. I promise you, both Harry and I will be here for you as long as we are able.” He kisses the top of his son’s head. “Do we need to take a break?” he asks and feels Scorpius shake his head._

_“No,” he says, on a whimper. “You can finish. Just...will story Harry and Draco get a happy ending?” Draco feels his heart shatter and tears well up in his eyes at Scorpius’ distress._

_“My darling boy,” he murmurs into Scorpius’ hair. “Of course they will. It’s a fairy tale. Everyone knows the hero and his true love live happily ever after.” Draco hears Harry’s chair scrape the floor then they’re both surrounded by Harry. “I didn’t sign up for a group hug, Potter,” he complains, albeit a little wetly._

_“Deal with it, Draco. You knew I liked hugging when we got married.” Giving them both one last big squeeze, Harry releases them and sits back down._

_With one last sniffle, Scorpius pulls back. “Right,” he says. “Then let’s hear how the rest of it goes.”_

_Draco moves to sit back down and he grabs Harry’s hand. Softly, Harry says, “I will always come back to you, Prince Draco.” Then he looks at Scorpius. “I will always come back to you as well, Scorp. You and your dad are two of my favourite people. I’ll always come back.”_

_"Potter, you're giving me cavities," Draco says as he blinks away some tears. But he squeezes Harry’s hand, hard, and smiles when Scorpius looks at them._

_“OK, Dad, will you finish the story? I want to know what happens next.”_

_Draco nods and gives Harry’s hand one last squeeze. “Of course, Scorpius.”_

_“‘Well, the Grangers don’t give up easily,’ said Hermione.’ Draco peeks up at Scorpius one last time. He’s not showing any more signs of being upset so Draco continues. “‘Ron, grab the body,’ Hermione ordered. ‘And… do you have any money?’”_

“Money?” Ron asked. “The body?”

Hermione nodded. “Yes, hopefully between the two of us we will have enough to buy a miracle.”

——

Ron had carried the man in black all the way across the Thieves Forest and over a small bridge when they stopped at a squat little house. It had a bright purple door and a windchime made of glass vegetables. Radishes seemed to be the most prominent, but there was also a courgette, a few potatoes, and a parsnip. Hermione was unaffected, her focus was on who lived in the house, but Ron started yearning for a roast. His attention was pulled to the door as Hermione knocked on it.

A little wooden window in the door opened and a woman with fiery red hair and eyes the color of honey answered. “Yes?” she asked, clearly bored.

“Are you the miracle woman, Ginevra, who used to work for the king?” Hermione asked.

The window slammed shut. 

Muttering “rude” under her breath, Hermione knocked again, this time louder. 

“What?” the woman shouted after she had opened the window again.

“I asked—”

The window was slammed again. Ron lowered Harry to the ground and knocked for Hermione.

Opening the window, the woman peeked out again. “I’ll call the Brute Squad!” she threatened.

“I’m on the Brute Squad,” Ron countered.

“You ARE the Brute Squad!” shouted Ginevra. Shaking her head, she sighed. “Yes, I was the miracle worker for the king until the king’s stinking son fired me. Happy?” Then she slammed the window again.

Ron pounded on the door once again and this time the entire door was opened. “I clearly can’t get rid of you, so tell me, how exactly am I supposed to help you.”

Hermione turned and pointed to the man in black on the ground. “We need a miracle.”

Scowling, Ginevra—

_“You know she prefers ‘Ginny,’” Harry cut in to say._

_Scorpius nods. “Yeah, Aunt Ginny really hates—”_

_Draco rolls his eyes. “Fine,” he grunts out. “I’ll call your ex-girlfriend—”_

_Harry laughs. “We broke up a year after Hogwarts, Draco. It's been over a decade. You always make such a big deal about it.”_

_Draco glares. “She’s_ ginger _,” he says to prove his point._

_Harry shrugs. “Whatever,” he says. “But she really does prefer Ginny.”_

_“Scowling, Ginny looked over at him. ‘Why do you want a disgraced miracle woman? I’ll probably kill him.’” Draco narrates, annoyed._

Hermione frowned at her. “He’s already dead.”

Ginny perked up at that. “Oh, well, then bring him in.” She stepped back to let Hermione in and Ron picked the man in black back up and laid him on the table Ginny motioned to.

“We’re in a terrible rush,” Hermione started.

“Rushed miracles are poor miracles,” Ginny replied as she started examining the man in black. “So, what do you need him alive for?” she asked with a sly look. “He owe you money?”

Hermione shook her head. “He saved his small country from a madman, sacrificing himself at the very end. He has a husband and a small child who need his support.”

“Rubbish,” was all Ginny said.

“I need him to help me find revenge for my father against a six fingered woman.”

Cackling, Ginny said, “Your first story was better. I can help, but it will cost you.”

“We have forty Galleons,” Ron interjected.

Ginny let out a little _oof_. “I guess I can try _something_ for that. It would help if you were doing it for some noble cause.”

“We! Father! Saviour! Family!” Hermione sputtered out.

“Pfft,” scoffed Ginny. “I’ll just ask him.

Ron looked at her in confusion. “He’s dead.”

A maniacal look crossed Ginny’s face. “Ha ha!” she crowed. “He’s only _mostly_ dead!” Then she muttered, “Luckily for you.” 

She started to grab things around the room, a fire bellows, her wand, some goggles, and a pair of gloves. “You’re lucky you found me,” she said as she walked back over to the table. “You don’t even know the difference between all the way dead and mostly dead,” she grumbled. She looked appraisingly at Ron and Hermione. Making up her mind, she nodded to Ron. “You,” she pointed at the man in black, “hold his mouth open.” While he was following her orders, she put her gloves and goggles on and used her wand to lift the bellows. She levitated it over and it settled gently into Harry’s mouth. With another flick of her wrist, it inflated and blew a gust of air into him.

Then she spelled the bellow back to where it belonged and walked up to the man on the table. She listened to his lungs for a few seconds. “When I press down, he will tell us what he has to live for.” 

Lifting her head, Ginny looked at Ron and Hermione, seemingly happy for a willing audience. Then slowly she pressed on Harry’s chest.

“Truuuuuuuuuuue Loooooooooove,” he gasped.

Hermione’s eyebrows raised to her hairline. “See!” she insisted. “True Love! Surely that is a noble cause.”

Ginny scoffed. “He didn’t say True Love. Though that would have been a _very_ noble cause. He clearly said ‘to blave’ which means to bluff. What, were you playing cards and he bluffed? Which makes me right!” she cried. “He _does_ owe you money!” 

Then a small woman with long, pale hair came out, shouting, “Liar!” She looked at Ginny. “Liar!” she shouted again. 

Ginny frowned and made a _shooing_ motion. “Get back witch!” 

The blond woman glared at her. “I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!”

Ginny let out a sigh and rested her face in her hands. “Luna, love, you _are_ a witch,” she reminded her. “We both are.”

Luna put her hands on her hips, arms akimbo. “Well, fine, but if you lie about True Love, I may not be your wife much longer!”

“You know he said _True Love_ , Gin!” Luna sent her wife a dejected look. 

“Luna!” Ginny half shrieked.

Luna looked at Ron and Hermione and gave them a sad look. “Ever since she was fired by Prince Voldie, she’s doubted herself.”

“I asked you to never say his name!” Ginny shouted.

Luna gave her a loony smile and started running around the table chanting, “Voldie, Voldie, Voldie, Voldie, Voldie, Voldie,” until Ginny covered her ears and shouted, “Fine! Maybe he _did_ say ‘True Love.’ But I still—”

WIth a sly look, Hermione interrupted their bickering. “Prince Voldie,” Ginny let out a shudder, “is set to marry the man in black’s True Love this very evening. If you help him, we will crash the wedding, leaving Prince Voldie humiliated.”

A grin started spreading over Ginny’s face. “So if I help you…”

“Voldie is publicly disgraced ?” Hermione asked. At Ginny’s smile, she nodded. “Yes. The shame of it will haunt him for the rest of his life.”

Ginny straightened her shoulders and looked at Luna. “Let’s get to work!”

Having made up her mind to help, Ginny and Luna wasted no time in concocting a cure for Harry. Fire spurted from Luna’s wand as Ginny summoned ingredient after ingredient until finally they both sat down and Luna started painting the large pill they had made with chocolate. She looked up at Hermione with a smile. “Chocolate makes the medicine go down more easily.”

Hermione let out a little hum of agreement. “How long do we need to wait before we can give it to him?”

Ginny thought for a moment before answering, “About fifteen minutes for maximum effectiveness.”

“And don’t let him swim for…” Luna looked at Ginny in question. “An hour?”

Ginny nodded. “Yes,” she agreed. “No swimming for at least an hour after he’s taken it.” She held out a little bag for Luna to put the miracle pill in and then handed it to Hermione. Ron moved over to pick Harry up and they all walked out of the little house.

“Good luck storming the castle!” Ginny said after Ron thanked them. 

“Do you think it will work?” Luna muttered as they walked away.

With a sceptical look, Ginny responded, “It would take a miracle.” 

——

Ron and Hermione carried Harry back to the castle. They found an abandoned battlement where they could see the gate.

“Blimey,” Ron exclaimed. “That’s loads more than thirty men.”

Hermione scanned the guards. “We need the man in black now,” she said decisively.

“Has it been fifteen minutes?” Ron asked.

Hermione shrugged. “Close enough.” 

Ron nodded and held Harry’s mouth open so Hermione could give him the pill. They stared at him for a few seconds before Ron asked, “How long do you think it will take to work?” Hermione shrugged.

“Unhand me!” Harry wheezed. “I’ll beat you to a pulp!” Then his head fell forward.

Ron’s eyes were big as he said, “Guess not long,” to Hermione. 

“Why won’t my arms move?” Harry demanded.

“You’ve been mostly dead all day,” Ron explained.

“We had to go to the miracle woman, Ginny, to get a pill to bring you back to life,” Hermione said and then she peeked up to look at the gate again. 

“Who are you?” Harry asked. “Are we enemies? Why are we on this wall? What’s going on? Where is Draco?”

Hermione thought for a moment. “Let me explain,” she started. Then she frowned. “No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Your True Love, Draco, is to wed Voldie in half an hour. We need your help to break in, stop the wedding, grab Draco, and escape. After I kill Countess Bellatrix.”

Harry’s finger twitched. “That doesn’t give us a lot of time,” he said, frowning then grunted as Ron moved his face towards his own. “And you might as well call me Harry,” he said. 

“You just moved your finger!” Ron said excitedly. “Hermione! He just moved his finger!”

“I’ve always been a fast healer,” Harry said in a dismissive tone. “What are our assets?”

Hermione started talking so Ron moved Harry’s head so he faced her. “Well, we have my wand, your daring, and Ron’s strength.”

“And what are we up against?” Harry asked. Ron moved his face so he could speak.

“Uh, about sixty guards, guarding one gate?” he answered, his voice going high.

Harry’s head flopped again, but he was able to roll it to look at Hermione. “There’s no way the three of us, with only _your wand,_ ” he rolled his head to Ron, _his strength_ , and _my daring_ can take on sixty guards in front of one entrance. If we had a wheelbarrow, we might be able to do something…” Harry trailed off.

“Ron,” Hermione said, quickly. “Where’s the wheelbarrow the rat man had?”

“Probably still by the unconscious rat man?” Ron said back.

“Why didn’t you tell me about that sooner!” Harry exclaimed. “And what I wouldn’t give for my old invisibility cloak.”

Ron gave him a weird look. Then he pulled out a silky, multicoloured cloak from under his jacket. “Like this?”

Harry gasped. “Where did you get that? It looks exactly like mine and mine was one of a kind!”

“Ginny gave it to me,” he admitted. “She said something about us needing all the help we could get and that it might come in handy. I kinda forgot about it until just now.”

Harry flopped his head back and forth at Ron and Hermione. “We just may win this,” he said with a smile. “Now help me up. We need to get down to the gate.” 

They shuffled across the battlement, Ron dragging Harry as Hermione cast charms to try and hide them all. “I’ll need a sword,” Harry whispered.

“You can barely hold one,” Hermione said, quite sensibly.

“Who knows that beyond the three of us?” he asked. At Ron and Hermione’s shrugs, he continued, “However, we may run into a few problems when we get inside.”

“Yes!” Hermione squeaked. “How will we find Draco? And once we do, how will I find Bellatrix? And once she’s dead, how will I find you both? And what will Ron be doing while we find Draco and Bellatrix? And once we’ve rescued Draco and I’ve slain Bellatrix how will we all escape?” She took a deep breath, but before she could continue, Ron cut her off.

“Hermie, maybe now’s not the time.” Ron reached to grab her hand, behind Harry where they both had hold of him, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I know how you like a plan, but he’s had a tough day.”


	4. Chapter 4

Prince Voldie was overseeing all of Draco’s wedding preparations. Draco was clad in a beautiful set of sky blue robes that had flowers embroidered around the pearl buttons ran down the robes in a line from his throat to the floor. The embroidery was done with real gold thread and matching gold ribbons were woven into Draco’s hair. He had a small gold crown on the top of his head and he had never looked more beautiful. For all of the pampering, he had a resigned look on his face.

“You don’t look happy, my dear,” Voldie murmured as he tucked a loose strand of hair back into the intricate braids in Draco’s hair.

“Am I supposed to be happy?” Draco asked in a measured voice.

“Most people are on their wedding day.”

Draco looked at him with clear eyes and a serene expression on his face. “We will not be married this evening.” He took a deep breath. “My Harry will find me.”

Voldie let out a little snort but nonetheless let himself be led out of the room. Nodding to his father, Voldie left Draco to be escorted to the chapel where all of their wedding guests were waiting. Voldie walked impatiently until he reached Bellatrix who whispered her encouragement. Then he strode into the chapel to wait for Draco and his father.

Soon Draco was there by Voldie’s side and the aged bishop was talking.

“Mawidge...mawidge is what bwings us togewer today…” he droned. He had the longest beard Draco had ever seen and was going dotty in his old age. “Mawidge, the bwessed awwangement, that dweam wiffim a dweam...” he continued. Draco sighed.

Interrupting the old man were roars from outside. Voldie nodded to Bellatrix and she left the chapel at a run. Draco heard Alecto shout “Stand your ground!” and he smiled. _Harry_ had found him.

——

Hermione had spelled the wheelbarrow to push Ron forward on its own and cast a Disillusionment charm on it. She had cast a Notice-Me-Not charm on Harry and herself and they were following close behind. Ron had a Glamour cast that made him look skeletal and dark. The guards looked nervous.

“I am the Dread Pirate Black!” he growled in an unearthly voice. “There will be no survivors!” 

The guards started shuffling and shouting, scared of the wraith that was somehow floating before them. 

“Now?” Hermione asked Harry.

“Not yet,” Harry whispered back.

“My men are here and I am here, but soon you will _not be here_!” Ron continued.

“Harry?” Hermione was frantic. “Now?”

Harry nodded and Hermione threw the invisibility cloak over Ron, making him completely disappear and Hermione started a cold, blue flame in the space Ron had just occupied. Ron cast his voice to the flame. “The Dread Pirate Black is here for your _soul_ ,” he droned. After disappearing, he had made his way back to where Hermione and Harry were and was helping Hermione carry Harry, under the cloak. 

The leader of the guards was shouting, “Stand guard! Men! Stand your ground!” but none of the guards were listening. After the courtyard was empty, Hermione cancelled the spells. Taking off the cloak and Harry, Hermione, and Ron were left staring at her. 

“Give us your wand so we may open the gate,” Harry ordered.

“I don’t have my wand on me,” replied Carrow in a smarmy voice.

“Ron.” Harry’s voice was clipped. “Tear her arms off.”

With an ashen face, Alecto quickly pulled her wand out of its holster. “Ah, I was mistaken.” She held it out to Harry but Hermione grabbed it. “ _Patentibus_ with a swish will open it.” Then she ran off.

——

The noises from outside got louder and louder until they suddenly stopped. Nothing had fazed the bishop. 

“... Ven wuv, twoo wuv, wiw fowwow you fowever…”

“Rings!” Voldie demanded as he shoved Draco’s ring onto his finger. “Your Harry will _not_ save you,” he said in a menacing tone. “He’s dead.” Draco shook his head in disbelief, but Voldie nodded. “I killed him myself.”

Draco smiled. “Why do you look afraid, if you’ve killed him?”

“Husband and husband!” shouted Voldie. The bishop looked askance at being interrupted.

“Say husband and husband!” Voldie demanded again.

“Husband and husband,” drawled the bishop. 

With a wrench, Voldie pulled Draco back down the aisle. “Get him to the Honeymoon Suite,” he hissed to his father. “I’ll be there shortly.”

Draco let himself be led by the King. “He didn’t come,” he whispered. 

“Strange wedding,” the king said, patting Draco’s arm. Draco nodded at him weakly. He leaned over to press a small kiss on the king’s cheek.

The king smiled brightly. “What was that for?” he asked.

“Well, I’m going to kill myself tonight, and you’ve always been kind. So I just wanted to say goodbye.”

Still smiling, the king patted Draco’s arm again. “Lovely to hear,” he said. They were at the entrance to the Honeymoon Suite so the king opened the door for Draco. “Have a wonderful night,” he said. As he turned, Draco heard him say, “He kissed me!” in wonderment.

——

After incapacitating the front gate guard, they had taken the sword from her and it dragged noisily behind Harry as Ron dragged him into the castle. None of them knew where to go, but Hermione seemed to have some general knowledge about the layout, so she was leading. They ran down hallway after hallway until they met Countess Bellatrix and three guards, all with their wands drawn.

Bellatrix sneered at them. “Kill the woman and the giant, but leave the other one for questioning,” she ordered her guards.

Hermione lept into action, deflecting curse after curse. Her wand arm was a blur as she parried and blocked and finally was able to go on the offensive. She screamed as she cast a wordless spell that took down all three guards at once. Panting, she looked up at Bellatrix and smiled. 

“Hello,” she said quietly. “My name is Hermione Granger. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Bellatrix looked around, wildly, at Hermione, then back to Ron and Harry. She spared a split second glance at her fallen guards. Her wand started to shake in her hand. Then, unexpectedly, she turned on her heel and ran away.

Hermione’s jaw dropped in surprise, but before Bellatrix could go too far, Hermione started running after her. Bellatrix had run left at the first hallway so Hermione followed her. At the end of the, she heard a door slam. She ran and cried “ _Alohomora_ ”, but the door stayed locked. 

“ _Bombarda Maxima!_ ” she bellowed, but the door didn’t budge; it seemed to be impervious to magic. 

“Ron!” she yelled as she threw herself against the door. “Ron!” she shouted again. “I need help!” 

“’M with Harry!” Ron shouted back.

“She’s getting away!” Hermione screeched. “Please, Ron!”

Ron turned to Harry. “Sorry, mate,” he muttered, looking for somewhere to stash Harry. “I need to go help Hermie.” He dragged Harry down the hall then turned the corner. There was a suit of armour in a little alcove so Ron gently draped Harry over it. “I’ll be right back,” he said, then took off towards Hermione. 

Hermione was still throwing herself against the door and shouting in frustration. Ron stopped her from slamming her body into it again, then stood in front of the door and _kicked_. The door flew off its hinges. Nodding her thanks, Hermione hurried into the room.

Scanning the empty room, Hermione noticed an open door. She ran to it, only to be greeted by another empty hallway. She hurried down the hall and found a cracked door and ran in. As soon as she crossed the threshold Bellatrix, who was lying in wait, cast a _Diffindo_ at her. It went a little wide and didn’t cut her from rib to rib as intended, but it did leave a large gash across her left hip. 

Bellatrix cackled as Hermione started to slump to the floor, clutching her hip. Her vision was fading and she whispered, “I'm sorry Father. I have failed you.”

Narrowing her eyes, Bellatrix _really_ looked at Hermione. She seemed to realise who Hermione was and an evil smile crossed her face. “Ah,” she drawled. “You must be that London brat who was such a bother all those years ago. How long have you spent searching for me?” She paused to _really_ look at Hermione. “Five years?” she paused, but there was no answer. “Ten?” Her face lit up. “Oh, my darling girl, have you been searching for me for _fifteen_ years? Have you spent your entire life looking for me and now you’ve failed?” Bellatrix let out a sinister little giggle. “That’s the most magnificent thing I’ve ever heard. You must tell me all about how you feel, having wasted your life and disappointed your father.”

——

When Draco had learned of Voldie’s betrayal, that he had not in fact sent Harry back to his ship, Draco had snuck into the castle’s resident Potions Masters’ quarters and stolen a phial of pure essence of Belladonna. He made sure it was packed with his belongings when they were all moved to the Honeymoon Suite. Opening his valise, he cancelled the charm that hid the false bottom and took out the phial. Choosing death over marriage to the foul Prince Voldie seemed to be his only choice, so he took out the stopper and moved the phial to his lips, ready to drink.

“Draco my love, there is a shortage of people both beautiful and clever. It would be a shame to lose you.”

 _Harry snorts and Draco shrugs and responds, “I mean,_ story _Harry’s not wrong. I am both beautiful and clever.”_

 _Draco’s_ actual husband _Harry lets out a little laugh, but graciously allows Draco to continue the story._

_“Draco turned his head in shock,” Draco says with a fond look at Harry. “‘Harry!’ he cried. ‘You’re alive!’.”_

Harry was stretched out on the opulent bed, his face full of emotion, but his body wasn’t moving. There was a huge sword by his right side and his wand was in his left hand.

“Harry!” Draco cried again and put the top back on the poison, gently laid it down, and rushed to Harry’s side. He clambered on top of Harry and started covering his face with kisses. Harry kissed back when he was able, but still didn’t move.

“Harry?” Draco asked. “Why won’t you hold me?”

“Gently,” Harry gritted out as Draco lifted his head to pepper more kisses on him.

“Gently?” Draco asked in confusion. “We’re together again and all you can say is _gently_?” Draco let go and Harry grunted as his head hit the headboard.

——

Hermione was struggling on the floor, hand pressed over her wound, vision blurring. She tried to stand.

“Good heavens,” said Bellatrix. “Are you still trying to duel?

Hermione didn’t answer, but she finally stood, hunched over in pain. 

“I’m not surprised you failed,” Bellatrix said, cruelly. “After all, your father was a muggle so you were born with a clear disadvantage.” Bellatrix sent a curse at Hermione, wounding her in her right shoulder. Hermione still scrambled to advance. Laughing, Bellatrix fired off a second curse at Hermione’s left shoulder.

Walking slowly, Hermione didn’t seem to feel any pain; her wounds were so extensive. Bellatrix sent a curse, this time at Hermione’s heart but, with a flinch, Hermione was able to send up a Shield Charm in time. She flicked her wand and sent a Jelly Legs Jinx at Bellatrix, making the Countess step back.

“Hello,” Hermione whispered. “My name is Hermione Granger. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” 

In fear for the first time, Bellatrix sent an assortment of curses at Hermione, but somehow Hermione’s Shield was strong enough to keep them all at bay. Bolstered by her Shield, Hermione repeated, “Hello. My name is Hermione Granger. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Now on the defensive, Bellatrix started backing up. Hermione walked towards her, a cold expression on her face. “Hello. My name is Hermione Granger. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Bellatrix shrieked and sent more curses, but none of them landed. Still calm, Hermione sent a curse towards Bellatrix’s right shoulder, smiling coldly when Bellatrix started bleeding. With a second flick of her wrist, Hermione sent another curse, wounding Bellatrix in her left shoulder.

“HELLO!” Hermione roared. “MY NAME IS HERMIONE GRANGER! YOU KILLED MY FATHER! PREPARE TO DIE!” 

“Stop saying that!” Bellatrix screamed. She stumbled while Hermione continued to advance. Realizing she might lose the duel, Bellatrix gasped out, “No!”

Hermione looked at her with clear eyes. “Offer me money,” she demanded.

Bellatrix nodded, a crazed look in her eyes. “Yes, of course. All the money in the world.”

Hermione wordlessly _and_ wandlessly cursed Bellatrix so that her left cheek started bleeding, an exact copy of Hermione’s own curse scar.

“Offer me power,” Hermione growled.

“Yes!” Bellatrix shrieked.

Another wordless and wandless curse landed, this time on Bellatrix’s right cheek. They matched now; each having cursed and permanently scarred the other.

“Offer me anything,” Hermione demanded in a dangerous voice.

“Everything!” Bellatrix promised. “I will give you everything!”

Without a word, Hermione flicked her wand. “I want my father back, you bitch!” she screamed and Bellatrix fell.

Standing still for a few moments and catching her breath, Hermione looked down at Bellatrix. She was convinced that she had vanquished the other woman and looked up. She whispered, “Father, I miss you,” before healing her wounds and running off to try and find Ron and Harry.

——

After dropping Harry, Draco had moved to his side and they were cuddled together on the bed. “I’m so sorry,” Draco whispered into Harry’s neck.

Harry slowly moved his head so they were nose to nose. “What could you have possibly done, my darling?” he asked then kissed the tip of Draco’s nose. 

“I got married,” Draco admitted with a frown.

Instead of upsetting Harry, he merely smiled. “Never happened,” he reassured Draco.

“But I was there!” insisted Draco. “There were rings and the barmy old man said _husband and husband_!”

Harry scoffed. “Did you consent to the marriage?” Draco looked at him in confusion. “Did you say ‘I do’?”

Draco frowned, but shook his head thoughtfully. “We sort of skipped that part.”

Harry smiled again. “Well, there you go!” he exclaimed happily. “No ‘I do’, no marriage.” Then, in a cooler voice, Harry turned and looked at the doorway. “Wouldn’t you agree, _Voldemort_?”

Voldie scowled at Draco and Harry, still entwined on the bed. “It’s no matter,” he said dismissively. “It’s easily remedied. But first,” he drew his wand with an unnecessary flourish, “ _to the death_!”

Shaking his head, Harry responded with a solemn, “No. To the pain.”

“I’m not familiar with that,” Voldie responded, frowning. 

“Then I shall tell you,” Harry started. “And I’ll make sure to use very small words so you'll be sure to understand, you miserable excuse of a man.”

Voldie frowned. “That…” he paused. “That might be the first time someone’s insulted me.”

Harry’s face was hard as he glared at Voldie. “I can assure, I won’t be the last to insult you, you disgusting swine.” Harry spared a glance at Draco to make sure he wasn’t upset, and seeing only support, he continued. “To the pain means that first I will remove your feet, below your ankles, next your hands below your wrist. I would say I would remove your nose, but you don’t really have one so I’ll leave that alone.”

Voldie rolled his eyes. “Next I suppose you’ll remove my tongue. How original.” He twitched his wand and aimed it at Harry.

“I wasn’t finished,” Harry said, still calm. “Next will be your eyes, one by one, then—”

“Then my ears,” Voldie said, dismissively. “You’re being rather predictable." 

“No!” Harry half shouts. “Your ears will stay. And I’ll tell you why: so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish— every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, ‘Dear god, what is that thing?’ will echo in your perfect ears.” Harry glared at Voldie. “That is what ‘to the pain’ means. It means Draco and I get to go live our happily ever after while you are here, mutilated, ugly, unloved _forever_.”

In a shaking voice, Voldie said, “I think you’re bluffing.”

Harry raised his brows. “Oh, am I _bluffing_ you disgusting maggot of a man?” With a wry grin, Harry continued. “It could be that I can’t move my body after being tortured at your hands, you shit stain. I could be lacking strength, that is one theory, you miserable vomitous mass.” Harry started to get up and Draco scrambled out of the bed to stay out of his way.

Slowly, and with incredible intent, Harry pulled himself fully out of the bed, sword raised and wand at the ready. Voldie had gone completely white, his jaw open, his wand hand shaking. Harry spared another glance at Draco before taking a step towards Voldie.

“Drop your wand,” Harry commanded.

Voldie wasted no time in obeying, the wand clattering as it fell. Harry pointed to a chair in the corner of the room with his wand. “Sit,” he ordered and Voldie scrambled to obey. Nodding at Draco, he said, “Tie him up, darling?” and Draco wasted no time in casting an _Incarcerous_.

Voldie let out a groan as Draco spelled his bonds tighter. Suddenly, Hermione walked in the door, bloody, but happy. “Where’s Ron?” she asked as she looked around the room and saw the prince tied up and Harry on his feet.

Harry shrugged. “I thought he was with you…” he started before he lost his balance and wavered on his feet, almost falling. Hermione easily caught him, but Draco looked at them both in horror.

“What’s wrong with Harry?” he asked.

“He’s been mostly dead all day,” Hermione explained. “He’s got no strength.”

“HA!” cried Voldie from his chair in the corner. “I knew it!” he exclaimed. “You don’t have any…” he trailed off as Hermione pointed her wand at him.

“Do you want me to finish him off?” she asked Harry.

Thinking for a moment, Harry ultimately declined. “No,” he started. “He’ll be the laughingstock of the kingdom. That and knowing he was bested by me should be enough to keep him in line.”

Shouts of “Hermie! Hermie! Where are you?” came through the window. Hermione let Draco take over supporting Harry and she went to peer out the window.

“Ron?” she asked. “What are you doing down there?”

He smiled and held up two brooms. “I found these!” he said proudly. “I was wandering around and found Voldie’s broom shed and grabbed them! I thought if we found Draco,” he looked up and saw that Draco and Harry had joined Hermione at the window, “hello Draco! But if we ever found him, then Harry and Draco could share one and you and I could share one.”

Hermione’s eyes twinkled. “You’re really rather clever, Ronald,” she said with a big smile.

“Won’t let it go to my head,” he reassured her with an answering smile.

Ron put the brooms down and pulled out his wand. “I can help you get down!”

Hermione nodded. “Remember, it's leviOsa, not levioSA,” she said as Ron swished and flicked his wand. Draco was the first out the window and was set down very gently. While Ron was helping him, Harry and Hermione had a moment to themselves.

“Now that you’ve taken care of the six fingered woman, what do you plan on doing?” Harry asked, curious.

Humming, Hermione lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I’ve spent so long with this one goal, I honestly don’t know.”

Harry gave her an appraising look. “You and Ron seem to be hitting it off. How do you feel about piracy? You would make a dashing Dread Pirate Black and Ron would be an excellent first mate.”

Hermione’s reply was cut off as she was lifted up by Ron’s magic, but Harry could see she was thinking about it as she floated towards the ground. 

Then it was Harry’s turn to be levitated to the ground. Draco had already grabbed a broom and Harry climbed on behind him. Hermione’s arms were wrapped tightly around Ron’s middle as they shared their broom. Taking off in tandem they flew off to their freedom, confident in their love, sure of their safety, glad to have found friendly faces in their conspirators. They flew until dawn and love filled Harry and Draco’s hearts as they landed. Harry swept Draco into a breathtaking kiss. Time itself seemed to stop as they kissed. Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. 

_Draco lets out a sigh as he finishes his story. “What did you think?” he asks Scorpius._

_Nodding furiously, Scorpius squeaks out, “I loved it! You should tell that every night!”_

_Draco casts a_ Tempus _and grimaces a little at how late it is. “Maybe if we start earlier,” he allows. He leans over to kiss Scorpius on the head and makes sure he’s properly under the covers. “You really need to go to sleep, little one,” he says in a fond voice. “I think we’re all going to be tired in the morning.”_

 _He walks to the door then turns to watch Harry and Scorpius say their own goodnights. Scorpius whispers fast, his face pink while Harry nods. At the end, Harry pulls Scorpius into a big hug. Draco doesn’t know how he got so lucky, having_ both _Harry and Scorpius in his life, but he doesn't want to think about it too much; doesn’t want to jinx himself. Harry comes up to him and grabs his hand. They both spend a second looking at Scorpius in bed, the boy is smiling and content and Draco swears to himself that he will do everything that is in his power to ensure Scorpius stays happy and healthy._

_“Night, Scorp,” Harry says._

_“Night, Harry,” Scorpius answers._

_“Good night, my dear boy,” Draco says, feeling a bit soppy, no doubt due to the fairy tale he has just told. “I love you.”_

_“Night, Dad! Love you too!”_

_Then Harry mutters_ Nox _and the room is dark. Harry drags Draco out of the room before gently shutting the door. “That was a great story,” he says, knocking his shoulder into Draco’s. “I knew you were_ dramatic _,” Harry wiggles his brows as they walk towards their own room. “But I didn’t realize you were such a sap.”_

_Draco snorts at him. “Of course I’m a sap!” he exclaims. “Have you seen my son?”_

_Harry lets out a fond laugh. “Yeah, I get that,” he agrees. “Scorp's pretty great.”_

_Whirling and pinning Harry against the door, Draco whispers, “You’re pretty great as well.”_

_“Sap!” Harry whisper shouts between giggles. Draco cuts off the laughter with a kiss._

_“You really are wonderful, Harry,” he says._

_Harry kisses him, quickly, before responding, “You are too, love.” Draco kisses him back and they lose time, lazily kissing against their door. Harry gently pushes Draco away and Draco takes his time looking at his husband: messy black hair; a dark flush on his brown skin; lips swollen from kissing; green eyes full of love._

_“I_ am _soppy tonight,” Draco says with a sigh._

_“I rather like it,” Harry replies, walking towards their bed. “Join me?”_

_Draco smiles and answers, “As you wish.”_

**Author's Note:**

> My head canons are...
> 
> The Malfoy-Potter household has unanimously agreed that they can use any word to describe Voldie in front of Scorpius, even if it's a word not fit for polite society. Other swears are not to be said in front of or by Scorpius.
> 
> Miracle Ginny, having been recently dismissed from her duty to the King, has no idea about money so when she asks for forty Galleons (which is a lot) she's basically saying "What could a miracle cost, Luna? Like forty Galleons?" because Lucille Bluth is amazing and so is Ginny.
> 
> There's not any fencing because A) I don't know fencing and B) _magic_. Sorry for the mislead in the summary.
> 
> ***
> 
> This work is part of "Lights, Camera, Drarry" (LCDrarry), a film-, TV- and theatre-inspired Drarry fest.  
>  The creators will be revealed on [tumblr](http://lcdrarry.tumblr.com) and [AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/LCDrarry2020/works) on 15 June 2020.
> 
> Please show your appreciation to the creator with kudos and comments :)


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